Relationships are really hard to maintain when you suffer from chronic pain. My husband and I have nearly lost our marriage a couple of times. He didn't understand why I couldn't just toughen up and deal with my headaches and then the depression that came with it.
Finally a trip to the psychologist with me helped. He doesn't believe in that either, but she was able to explain things to her that I couldn't. I'm not really sure where the change happened, but we stopped fighting each other and started fighting my headaches together. He goes to many of my doctors' appointments with me and helps me try and figure out what's triggering the latest migraine. For example, as I decreased Topamax last week and was plagued by a week long migraine we realized that possibly the Topamax was working. His attendance at doctors' appointments helps especially if I'm not able to remember or process things because of the pain.
I think it took me telling him over and over how much pain I was in for him to understand. He doesn't suffer from headaches. I think he has had 3 in his lifetime. He listens now and does try to understand. I try to explain as much as I can so he can understand and explain how his pressure on me only makes things worse.
I hope this helps, I know that it takes all types and having a supportive spouse makes it a lot easier. I don't know how I would have made it through the last couple of years without my husband.
Good luck getting your spouse's support.
PS Hi Sara.