Hello, Again, I have been looking around this site, I LOVE IT!!!! I love seeing how I am not the only one. But Seeing as you asked, I will have to force my positive experience. But Im gonna have to start from the beginning, OS you can see where I come from. When I was 13 was hit by a car(Christmas morning) was in the hospital 3 months. After breaking 33 bones, they decided to amputate My leg. Im sure is any of you know anyone who is an amputee, but its not exactly painless. A few weeks later, they decided that I didnt have enough clean skin due to the open wounds that they had to go and Amputate again, this time above the knee. Wow I said to myself. So I craied and cried, and again they did it. Now at age 13 I was in a Christian family, so I had many supporters, people who truly loved me praying for me. ANd gragually I recouped. As a teen, I was bound and determined, never to be handicapped. In fact I refused to get ahandicap placard. Everyone said, you need one, I said no I do not. Someone who has a hard time walsking needs one. Im fine. So I began the life a CONTROL. I had to take control. I went over and beyond the Norm. If it was a risk,,,I did it. I wanted to be strong.Although inside, I really wasnt that strong. I was such an angry person. Since the car accident, the man hwo ran me over, was on heroin. I hated him. ANd would go around guest speaking @ seminars on drugs and alcohol. How it effected me. Well then I turn 18...The man who hit, he asks me to forgive him. I did. ANd was the start of the BEst thing ever. HEre carrying such anger to an ailment was pintless right? So he and I go around together to prisons and churches, and talks on the act of forgiveness. So I think that was what I am here for. So what I lost my legg. I would do it all again. The man who hit me, is now a christian, and has also passed away from cancer. But his life changed. and then I found other peoples lives changed too. From seeing how It effected me to forgive, and how it effected him to forgive him self.
Ok so I go ona my meery way in life. Then I have a kids, and another, and Now I also have a wonderful husband. THen We get the news were having twins. WOW...talk about a shocker. By my 11th week, I cant feel my leggs, well I can feel them just couldnt move them, all of this within a 48 hour period. I was so scared, couldnt even wiggle my toes. So we call the oncall. dr,. He says no, your fine, Its the twins on a nerve....By morning...I cant even go to the bathroom. So my husband Carries me to the OR...a week in the hospital, they finally approve an MRI, and found I did have Lesions, so Im put on the 100 mg solumedrol. AND told Most likely Its Ms, but we have to wait for attack number two...to add the Multiple to it. So Just after a long pregnancy I get My second attack. Which in itself was weird. I was on the back of my husbands Motorcycles, and got Nystagmis(sp) So I felt like i was on a Merry-go-round on the freeway! Got a new Mri, and sure Enough I have it. I cried and cried, and cried. But then one day God comes and Taps my shoulder, and says lean on him, everything will be fine. So I do. Since I have numerous attacks. Even My sweet little Neurologist gets teary eyed when he tells me its getting worse. So Finally last year, Well...We just had a year chenge huh ? So in 06 i was told I should think long and hard to try TYSABRI. Reading all that in the packet really freaked me out. I was approved shortly after It went back on the market. I have a low immune system, and there are risks, Im sure you have all read on it, if your not already on it. Its not something to just jump in feet first like I would have done years ago. So I pray and pray and pray. My pastor, is like has God given you the ok yet? Im like the what?? What do you mean. He said, youll know with out a dougbt. So now Im in a panick...Im asking God all this, and he didnt let me know anything. I had a feeks to think it all over, talk it over with my family, and then give My neuro the go-or nogo. So Im on my way to the actually appt,,,and God still didnt make me feel like I should or should not...Im like...THIS IS GREAT! Well Im listeneing to music,I hear that song "Praise you in this storm" Then I suddenly get my answer. FOr the first time in my life I HEARD God talk to me....freaked me out really, anyhow, He told me....I Gave you your first breath, And I will choose when you t ake you last! ............I was like...Ok...So weather I take Tysabri or not ITS not gonna kill me. So It is a tool, I felt great with My decision to start it. So I have been on it, sonce, A little over a year now. And I learned that, Nothing is really bad. My kids, they now that I have it, and that I get down(meaning cant get out of bed) and they know that No matter what I still have faith. I still have Hope, and I still Love. With all my past detours, I know in my heart I am stronger because of it. And strong in my personal experience by no mean, means I dont cry or feel pain , or pray to be healed. I do cry, I do feel pain daily, and I do pray for healing, But I also know If I have to carry this burden til my last day I will carry it with My head up. And through the dark storms, I will find a rainbow. And If I do take my last breath, My kids will know that nothing on this Earth can really control how we live!REALLY live! Yes we have limits, and have to know when to quit. But I cant go aournd being angry about it.!