Kiera, one thing you said here I'd like to comment on..
"...I offered my sig other an OUT, he chose to stay but I'm not at all certain he knows just what he's chosen..."
It took me a LONG time to figure this out...but isn't that really true of life? No one really is certain we "know just what we've chosen". There's this "ideal" out there...for example, we fall in love with the perfect mate, we get married (or otherwise connected), we live happily ever after...
And then he farts, burps, leaves his dirty socks on the floor, spills coffee on the new sofa. Or I get fat, prove to be lazy, can't cook worth a darn, hate to do laundry.
Or "life happens"..hurricanes destroy our homes, illness strike, injury happens. And what we thought life was going to be like turns out to be a very different thing.
One of the Beatles said it.."life happens when we're making other plans..." I heard someone else describe it as, "we plan our lives, God laughs at us..."
Some folks hold the ideal so tight that, when "life happens" they walk. Others accept that "life happens" and do their best to work with it.
As I've mentioned here before, my husband and I are entering our 40th year of marriage this year. When we decided to get married I was only 21, he just 26..but we were clear with each other that not only were we committed to each other, but also to the marriage. And it's that committment to the latter -- to marriage -- which has kept us together when we've gone through really ugly "life happenings", and through periods of time when we really didn't like each other very much. Many other folks around me have divorced over things that happened to them...those things happened to us, we reeled from the blow, picked ourselves up, and started again.
(I DO think there are some non-negotiable things in a relationship...abuse, whether physical or emotional; infidelity (unless BOTH partners are up front and clear about that from the start!).)
I'm glad your sig other is staying around. I'm really glad my husband did. Personal committment is really important to me, and to him.
Anyway, I really gotta get some other things done AWAY from the computer today! Take care! :)
...I am not a doctor, nor health professional, and don't pretend to be one, here.....