Well, I saw the phycologist that they wanted me to see. (scary waiting room by the way)
Anyways, I was there for three hours taking tests ranging from math, memory, current events, just a whole lot of different tests. I had no idea I'd be doing this for that long before I went. I don't know how I scored or whatnot, but to me my math was average, my memory was mediocre, but the dr said he was impressed with my vocabulary. I don't know why, but that's what he said.
I've been told by someone online that they probably want to make sure the disability is not wrecking me emotionally. (It's not, I've accepted that I'll probably never get married or have kids. Not because I can't find anyone, but because I feel terrible most of the time and just want to live out my days as stress free as possible. The smallest amount of worry or stress will bring on these symptoms
The phycologist also told me he has a friend with MS who is a lawyer, this and that. Seems like he was trying to get across that, "You can do it!"
I know alot people with MS have jobs and families and are somehow able to cope with everyday life. I personally can not do this.
To give some examples of why I applied in the first place, when I wake up, I need about 3 hours before I can even talk to anyone because it feels like my brain is swimming in the ocean or something. After a while I can feel a bit better say around noon.
I try to excersise a little on days when I feel I have any energy, but sometimes get too fatigued to just from doing slow warm ups or stretching. I eat the best I can for the record, no fast food, v8, egg whites, ect.
Bladder is another big issue. When I have to use the restroom, I don't have much warning. I'm guessing it just leaves the bladder goes through the pipes and I have to clinch to keep it in. I give myself 1 minute at best to get to a restroom fast because it's coming out whether I'm ready or not. I hate to drive because of this.
Then there is the dizziness, I think we know how messed up this is.
I would love to have a job and do things on my own, but I just physically can't. These symptoms are there everyday, maybe it doesn't last all day, but I will randomly feel god awful at some point during each day to the point that if I have to walk, I'm basically stumbling around. I don't drink because it makes it extremely worse. Even a part time job would be too much to handle because the symptoms come at unpredictable times.
Maybe I shared a bit too much or maybe not enough, but I have this feeling that after the visit, they mite think, "This guy is mentally ok, his limbs function, let him work."
This really mite come out the wrong way, and I hope it doesn't, but you know when you try to tell someone about the disease that really doesn't understand how you feel? Well, when I read about people with MS having families and careers, I think, "They must not feel like I do because there's no way I could juggle all that. I can barely make it through the day just hanging around doing this or that on my own time. I hope that doesn't sound insensitive to anyone because I don't mean it to.
This whole long process of disability was looking like things were going to be ok according to their neurologist. But, I'm kind of worried now that I went to the phycologist. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but if this doesn't work out, I'm in trouble.
Thanks for reading.