This is tough stuff. I believe this is the hardest part of this disease; coming to terms with the fact that we are losing some of our abilities. It is such an unpredictable disease course for each one of us as well. We are essentiall robbed of future dreams and plans.
I also have to use a handicapped placard. For me it has nothing to do with not being able to walk. It has to do with the fact that with chronic balance and vertigo, I have to look where I am walking ....not up, not to the side. I need to park as close to my destination just so I am not run over by a car backing out, turning a corner etc.
Try to remember that your abilities have NOTHING to do with your self worth. You are you and that makes you invaluable. You are loved by family and friends. You are a valued member of your community. This is NOT because of what you do; it is because of who you are.
Also, remember that whatever you feel is appropriate. It is ok to feel down or angry due to slowing down. Whenever I try to deny my feelings, I get to feeling really awful. If I admit what I am feeling and really think about those feelings......they eventually seem to work themselves out.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing. You are definitely not alone in these feelings.
Gretchen co-moderator MS board diagnosed with MS July 2006
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.