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Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3571
   Posted 5/5/2009 5:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone, I have deleted the "I am leaving this board" thread and starting a new one for your jokes.  There were some great jokes posted on there but there were some that were a bit too graphic for this board. Remember that this entire forum is open to 13 year olds and up.  We need to keep the jokes very clean. 
 
Have fun!!
Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


PSA
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 5/6/2009 12:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gretchen

Thanks for the new thread. Oops, let me figure out if by mistake some offending jokes were forwarded by me, even though I doubt that I would have. Here I go.


Good one … read fully…

True Appraisal!

Dear Manager (HR),

Sijo, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Sijo works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Sijo never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often Sijo takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Sijo is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Sijo can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Sijo be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader


NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines
(1, 3, 5,7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him


45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
 
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
 
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
 
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."
 

Post Edited (PSA.Delhi) : 5/6/2009 5:43:57 AM (GMT-6)


Katie7
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 5/6/2009 5:52 AM (GMT -6)   
sorry Gretchen, I am the worst at recalling most jokes, although my cow story was pretty funny, especially when our neighbor mentioned the 'bloat' thing to us, I thought I would die laughing watching my husbands expressions! devil
Hugs~Katie

Diagnosed w/MS~2008
Diagnosed w/Celiac 2009
Casein allergy~since forever


Katie7
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 5/7/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry, I can't resist this...here goes>>>>>>>>>>>

What is a cows favorite pastime?

The MOOOOOOOOOVIES smilewinkgrin tongue yeah
Hugs~Katie

Diagnosed w/MS~2008
Diagnosed w/Celiac 2009
Casein allergy~since forever


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3571
   Posted 5/7/2009 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Oh I have one way better than that...........ok this is sad....but THIS is my favorite joke of all time.

What do you call a boomarang that doesnt' come back.

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.......................a stick.  This makes me laugh every time!!!!


Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


jo60
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/7/2009 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
hi everyone,im new to this but i have been following ur ms progress, last sept i had a bout of optic neuritis and before i had mri doc said i had ms but mri came up negative sine mid july last yr i have had bladder problems but after oct they stopped i had a feeling last yr that i did have ms but was happy they told me no.last week my eyes started hurting and i thought the on was back but it seems i have iveitis which also is close with ms i now today developed weakness down my left side i feel like my arms and legs are asleep, i should also had said i had severe facial swelling last april , does anyone else think it is ms or am i going crazy

Katie7
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 5/7/2009 9:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Your 2 funny Gretchen, I needed that laugh after just watching Greys Anatomy! Oh and by the way....my dogs luv sticks and they never bring 'em back,lol
Hugs~Katie

Diagnosed w/MS~2008
Diagnosed w/Celiac 2009
Casein allergy~since forever


PSA
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 5/8/2009 6:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jo

Welcome to the HW family. I am sure you would find wonderful support here. You would find people, who are always willing to help you out with answers to your issues, and also lend their moral support.

Jo, May I request you to kindly create a thread/post under your own name. You would appreciate that this thread has been started for Jokes. Perhaps, not many people would be able to read your concern.

Take Care and Welcome once again. Looking forward to know you much better.
45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
 
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
 
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
 
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."
 


Katie7
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 5/8/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Why do cows have bells around their necks?

They lost their horns! idea blush

Where do Russians get their milk?

From MOS-COW! HEHEHE


Why are cows so forgetful?

They suffer from MILK OF MAG-NESIA! turn smhair turn
Hugs~Katie

Diagnosed w/MS~2008
Diagnosed w/Celiac 2009
Casein allergy~since forever


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3571
   Posted 5/12/2009 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Why are they called "seagulls"?
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Because they fly over the sea....if they fly over the bay the are called baygulls. (bagels :(
Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


Katie7
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 5/12/2009 8:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Seagulls huh???
Okay........2 seagulls are flying over a running track where a race is going on.....one seagull says to the other


'I'm putting everything i have on number 5." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!lol smilewinkgrin
Hugs~Katie

Diagnosed w/MS~2008
Diagnosed w/Celiac 2009
Casein allergy~since forever


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3571
   Posted 5/12/2009 9:34 PM (GMT -6)   
hehe.......good one.  I am using that one.

Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


PSA
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 5/13/2009 2:32 AM (GMT -6)   
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and Applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!
45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
 
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
 
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
 
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."
 

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