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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 5/15/2009 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
So I dropped my son's food on the floor today. And then I bumped his head into a door jam, twice. I've been so clumsy lately. I'm getting scared. I haven't had to deal with many symptoms so far. A little O.N. and some Lhermittes a few years ago. An occasional migraine. But since my son was born, I seem to just be getting worse. There's so much to do, I can't seem to stop moving, and I like it that way. I know I should rest, but I don't want to. And it scares me intensely to realize that one day, this disease might just stop me in my tracks. And what about my son? What if one day, I can't take care of him? Or what if he ends up having to take care of me?  


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3565
   Posted 5/15/2009 11:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Jezz,
I am glad to meet you.  I see you are a member from long ago.  I am sorry to hear of your worries.  These are big worries.  I know that you are concerned.  These are the things that keep me up at night too.  Just try to take it one day at a time.  This disease robs us of our future dreams. 
Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.

New Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 5/16/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jezz,
I'm glad to read what you said because they are my fears too. I have all different symptoms but the scariest are the problems i have with my legs. Sometimes they get so weak and tired i can barely stand.
I recently got married and now we are talking about having kids but it scares me that i won't be able to take care of them and like you said i'm worried that one day they will have to take care of me. I can't give you any advice or tell you anything that might help you, i just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your fears. I suspect most women with MS feel the way we do.

New Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 5/16/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I can relate to this also. I have a 25, 20, 13 and a 10 year old who is autistic and has other special needs as well. It scares me to think about whether or not I will have enough time to function enough to get him to adulthood before I can't move anymore if that were to happen. Right now my biggest guilt is that the kids notice that I choose not to attend outings with them and Dad to places like the fair (in the hot sun), or the beach, or hikes, or soccor games, etc., because I know that it will make me sick. I don't want to scare them by telling them that there is something wrong with me, but at the same time I can't stand the thought of my younger kids thinking I am just lazy or don't care.

I would be quite frightened to hold a baby these days and I think it would be a bad idea. I have nightmares about these kinds of things.
Yet I want to be a grandmother one day and give my son the support system of an extended family for his children, like I never had so I hope and pray that I am able to be a functional and useful part of that one day.

And, even if I decided to tell the kids what was wrong, how would I without a proper dx? I don't know what to call what is happening to me or how to explain it to people.

I think women and caregivers have to be careful to hold on to what they have now and be selfish enough to rest when they have too at all costs. Know our limits and stick to them so that we have something left to give tomorrow and the day after, and hopefully for years after that. That's all we can do I think.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 5/18/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Try not to worry so much. :) I know things can seem overwhelming, but you can only take one day at a time and hope for the best. Speaking from experience: MS for four years, four kids ages 4 to 8. Some days suck, but you just keep pushing through and do the best you can.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12).

Heather H.
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 756
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I know how it goes and it stinks. I have 3 boys ages 11, 7, and almost 5. I couldn't hide my being sick but I didn't tell them the whole ugly story. And I won't until they are old enough to understand it. I have told my kids age appropriate information. My oldest knows more than the other 2 but not enough to scare him. He knows I'm sick and I can't always go and do things. We changed some of the stuff we do so that I can go with them. Instead of doing a 2 mile hike, we go for a walk in the park and go fishing instead.
I try not to worry about what will happen and concentrate on things I can control. I cut down to working 2 days a week instead of 6. I am really lucky too. I have my extended family around me all the time. My parents, brothers, sister and cousins are always around when I need help. AND most importantly, I have my husband to pick up the slack.
You need to find a balance. And don't beat yourself up when you drop things. When your tired, don't carry heavy loads. I have taken to sliding my laundry basket full of wet clothes down the stairs to the back yard to hang them out. Do what you can within the limits your body is putting on you that particular day. And let everything else roll off your shoulders. It's all I can do.
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe!
dx's:  Fibro, 8th cranial nerve inflamation, MS.
meds.:  none at this time

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