If you would like any advice, I would be more than happy to talk to you. I became sick 6 months after I was married, at the age of 22. It is a huge life changing experience and I understand it from your daughter-in-laws perspective and can maybe help explain what she is feeling and what would be useful. I would tell you however, that eventually I was re-diagnosed with a brainstem encephalitis and not MS. But at first they did believe it was MS, and I spent 4 months in rehab not knowing if I was ever going to get back to the way I was prior to my first big hit. You daughter-in-law is most likely very depressed and scared. I know I was terrified at first, not knowing if I was going to be one of the people with MS that lived a semi-normal life (which I was OK with) or if I was going to be the one that was in the wheelchair 10 years down the road unable to do the things in my life that I wanted to do. It's a scary thought. She probably does need to talk to someone. It's hard to share those fears with family because they don't want to think of those scary thoughts just as much as you don't. I actually do agree with you though, she does need to get active and not feel sorry for herself but get back on her feet and live with the hand she has been dealt. For some people, this is easier said than done. I can't speak for her that this could take her 5 months or 5 years. What you could offer is to go with her, or drive her to talk to some one. This would be a good first step because she does at some point need to get back on her feet, especially while she is still fairly healthy. It's an unpredictable disease, so take each healthy day as a blessing!! That was my motto when I was first sick. My first 6 months were full of semi-good days and terrible days, so the good days I had to do something special. She needs to feel that she still has a lot to offer the world, not that she is just "sick". If you don't feel comfortable talking to her yet, start a conversation with your son and offer some help, let him know that you are willing to help her get back on her feet emotionally and see what his thoughts are. Just let her know that you are on-board with helping. My in-laws drove from TN to IN every weekend I was in the rehab hospital to give my parents a break and just be there with me. (My husband is military and was gone at the time.) It meant a lot and brought us all closer for them to be there in my time of need. Just let her know you are there and want her to get better and she needs to work on her emotional health right now. Sorry so long, but I wish you all the best! God bless!
23 years old;
Dx: Acute Disseminated Ecephalomyelitis (ADEM) Feb 2009
Meds: Provigil, Nexium, Lexapro, Adivan, Lopressor, Baclofen, Topomax
Did 1000 mg IV solumedrol for 8 days then weened for 1 and a half months from mid Feb-late March
A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit dries the bones.
"This too shall pass."