so depressed and no one to talk to

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AnitaLynn
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/25/2011 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I have had ms for 4 years and the fatigue is starting a lot of depression.  I feel so alone, no one to really understand me.  Very lonely having this condition.  Trying to see friends and go to exercise programs having no success feeling happier.  I feel so tired hard to wake up tired, to know every hour I will feel tired, very thing is so hard to do being tired.  Nothing can be done I feel.

Stephanie008
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 1/25/2011 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   
AnitaLynn, I am so sorry you feel alone and so sad. I am sorry about your MS. How severe do you have MS. I know someone who has MS and she is in chronic pain and uses a walker. She has had it since she was 19 yrs. old and she is now 43 yrs. old. All her life she has been struggling with this and it is so sad. I also know someone else that is 48 yrs. old and she was diagnosed at the age of 40 or so but she has it silent. Although she has pain, but it is not severe enough for her not to be able to walk straight or need a walker. I am very sorry for your pain and suffering. Do you have any family member, support? How old are you? Please pray and depend on God for help. Trust in the Lord. Give your hear to God and go to church or joing a church group. This will be so helpful and make you feel so much stronger. Anything is possible through God. I have been through quite a bit in the last 2 years as far as my health and if I didn't have the faith and God beside me, I do not know how I would have handled it all. I thank God and praise God for where I am today. Try to feel better and God Bless U. Keep in touch.
Simplistic007

Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3565
   Posted 1/25/2011 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey AnitaLynn,
 
I am sorry you are having such a hard time.  Please let your doctor know how you are feeling.  Please look into some treatment for both the fatigue and the depression.  The fatigue can be very difficult to treat.  Have you looked into provigil?  That brings some relief to some.  You should not have to be resigned to this.  Be aggressive  in getting treatment.
 
I know that the fatigue can be a horrendous to deal with.  I have heard some say that fatigue is the worst part of MS ........even worse than paralysis.  I can't say personally but fatigue is certainly a bad one. 
 
I hope you feel better real soon.

TakinCharge
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 1/26/2011 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
AnitaLynn,
 
Thought I would introduce myself to you.  I have not been diagnosed yet but I have also struggled with depression for a number of years.  I have been on meds for it for a long time now but have learned that I will still have ups and downs - which, as you know, goes along with everything in life!
 
Since my GP first mentioned the possibility of MS, I have had times of feeling incredibly alone also.  I don't feel as though I can talk to my family about it as they have always dismissed any "symptoms" over the years as me being a hypochondriac!  However, I do have a friend that is / has been very supportive.  She stops what she is doing to come over if I need her and has gone to the dr with me at a moment's notice. Do you have anyone you can confide in?  If not already, then you do now! I have only been a member here for a short time and I do not know how it works giving email addresses to each other, but I'm sure Gretchen or someone can tell us how to swap email addresses privately.  I would be happy to be email pen pals (lol)!  I know it isn't the same as having someone in person, but I hope it will help - both of us!
 
Let me know if interested!
 
Lisa

cincey
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/30/2011 1:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, 3.5 years w/MS-my fatigue is so bad i have grown to despise my bed and am failing at taking proper care of myself. provigil helps one day and not another. sick of meds. losing friends cuz i can't go do anything. terrified of next neuro visit-he wants a new mri and i am scared of spms. i hate not being the parent and friend i used to be. lost much of myself. i feel for you and am with you. hoping for the best course and a change in status,

Motown John
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 475
   Posted 2/2/2011 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
eyes  ....I do not mean to be the MS oldtimer....but....for me, I was dx'ed in 1987....
 
And the fatigue is numbers 1 through 50 in my MS world.....I can get a fu8ll nights sleep....get up....go to bathr0oom...then computer room...it is all a d9istance of maybe 50 yards....by the time I get to the comp;uter....I am exausted.
 
Whenn I applied for SS disability @ 5-6 years ago....the MS fat6igue was the main part of my narritive....I was approved.
 
My neuro has me on a drug...Provigil....it edoes help....not liken theb glory days....but....it is an help.
 
John from Motown

brnsug0945
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 2/2/2011 6:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh WOW!

AnitaLynn! I feel ya! No one understands the fatigue unless they have MS. I wouldn't wish this on anyone though!

My story is similar to John's - I can't remember a full night's sleep! Always interupted with trips to the bathroom.

I don't have a supportive family around here because they don't understand MS so they turn away from it. They can because they don't deal with it every second of every day as I do.

I'm new to this site but I have found some peace here. I feel that I am not alone.


We're only given what we can handle so I guess we can handle this... somehow. Hang in there!!!

Jennifer (brnsug0945)

AnitaLynn
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 2/6/2011 11:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for all the kind words, but I still feel so depressed.
 
When I was first diagnosed I held down a full time job, took take of my kids everynight. 
 
Now I need help with caring for them from my mother in law, she treats me like I am helpless,  which I don't know which is worse is to have family with their heads in the sand or family that just seems to have lost faith in you, but helps me, but I know by the way she talks I am almost a burgen or helpless human being.
 
Sometimes it is tough getting up in this world and face it.  Right now it is tougn to do anything.  I don't want to feel this alone.  I have no family of my own to help me with, just my husband, which in a sense makes me more trapped because what is something bad happens to us and we seperate.  Who will I call one.
 
Anita - still lonely and afraid and not really having a point in this world but to be tired. I want it to stop.

rosesinjanuary
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 748
   Posted 2/7/2011 8:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Yuck, MS, taking care of kids, mother in law and only other family but husband? And no outside contact?

Anybody would be depressed . Mother theresea would be depressed. I am depressed for u.

I got sick in 92 -94, they couldn't find out what it was it went away thought I was home free, came back in 1996 (with lyme disease rashes) I too had two small kids, I was exhausted, depressed and probably used a box of kleenex at one sitting if not more.

Ideas:, internet support groups like this one and there are a bunch more support sites people HELP. Helped me a LOT. You will love this idea ask your mom in law if she would pretty please take the kids to her house some to give u some time w/o all of them. I got suicide feelings off of sesame street when i was real bad. I don't know how sick u are, I have gotten worse I used to have good days now I don't want to walk down stairs let alone wash hair and get out. But I am changing this or trying to I go to a new dr. to see about pain releif, and I'll talk to him about fatigue (I forget everything soi will have to write that down. do this thursday

Its important to get out. Is there something one with ms can take for fatigue? Are u on an anti-depressant, there are good ones out there.
If u have the money can u hire a housekeeper some so mom-in-law is used mainly to take kids out or what about daycare or pre-school?

I feel for u been there done that it gets better in the sense the kids get older. How old are they? Do you or is too hard to read/ if I can get out of this mess Im in I might go to the local library and join a book discussion.

I also belong to an internet prayer chain group people post prayers and people pray for them sometimes leaving a little note just saying that they care . I have found this helps me probably more than them (although I strongly believe if asked God can move mountains no matter how dismal things are.) I get on there I find people who can't pay their rent, have kids in prison and frankly it makes me humble.

my email is on my profile (I think) if not it is rosesinjanuary@hotmail.com I am a "lymie" and a "fibro" and the question of ms is being raised.

let me know if i can pray for u every prayer I put on the chain is anonymous keeping persons privacy. i used to do a Lot of things myself work, play with horses, blah blah blah. Then I went down to two outings a week one dinner with hubby (i love to eat, too much ; ) and church because my hubby had just started wanting to go after 20 years!!! Now i am having trouble doing those 2 things, but I am going to fight it. As I hope u will. lisa

gagirl74
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/16/2011 6:40 PM (GMT -6)   
hello Anita. my name is Jenn I an on the ms diagnosis wagon right now! my primary doctor feels strongly that its ms. but my new neurologist feels its fibromyalgia. myself and g.p. think ms. I also have the extreme fatigue and a 4 and17 year old. the exhaustion is terrible. I'm also on celexa for anxiety and depression. it toes help me. just a thought. but yes getting a full good nights sleep is impossible!.i feel for you and am so sorry for your struggles. I will listen if you want. btw. this is my first post! I also am struggling with an issue if someone could help,i had temporary left leg paralysis a month ago, is this ms related? thank you! jenn
¿¿¿ JENN ¿¿¿
Loving my kids!!!

Dave_NC
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 2/17/2011 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Please take a serious look at CCSVI. I was treated last Friday and my fatigue is gone. It was my worst symptom. If you are interested and want some resources to look over just ask.
Learning and living everyday to the fullest. My MS blog http://mylifewms.blogspot.com or http://www.liberatedave.com

ToryJ
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/29/2011 8:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I can totally relate to your feelings.  I have been diagnosed for 9 years.  My first 4 years was in so much pain it was hard to do anything and lived on pain pills.  Finally there was a break but you sill have symptoms to manage and depression is one of the big ones for me.  Been to a few doctors for it and most don't really understand the MS and the paitent.  This makes you feel frustrated, worthless, lazy and lots of other feelings.  There will be times you are fine and then it is like the medications just don't work for the depression. Doctor just says well lets try more counseling.  That has never worked for me and does not make me feel any better.  Got spend a ton of money to talk to someone.  There are many brick walls or my dog and a good park bench that can do the same thing and not judge my feelings.  Sorry but it just never helps.  When they start playing with medications it gets your whole body out of control and you can't help it.  People in the general world look and you and think your laxy but if they could only live a few weeks or months in your body and mind they would soon see that there are real issues.  I went on a trip with friends to try to help and instead it was so intense that I came home feeling worse and drained.  Now I can't seem to bounce back and feel like just staying in bed all the time.  Seems I never complete taskes I used to be able to or start them only to not get them finished before I have 4 more started I know I will never get done.  Am I crazy or what.  Some days I don't know which way is up.  To add to my issues I have lost a Mom, Grandmother, aunt and uncle in the last 4 years and that just actually adds to the depression.  I pray you will find your help and hope that you find friends who can relate and understand you and your limitations.  People expect the same from the person you once was but your body may never be the one it once was.  Simple and sadly it is very true.  God Bless!

Rovngypsy
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 8/18/2011 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Anita Lynn and to you to Tori,
I have had lupus for approximately 21 yrs and now it is highly possible I may have MS too.  Actually they seem to think the worst of my symptoms may be MS now instead of lupus.  Anyway, I can certainly understand how you both feel. You feel useless to yourself, so of course you would feel useless to anyone else. You feel it is always something that will not let you have some good days.  If it's not pain, then it's fatigue, if not fatigue, then it's something else popping up.  It is always with you, never lets you have a moments peace.  Of course ppl who do not have an illness such as this cannot understand what either of you or myself go through.  Just like someone with cancer, if we don't have it, then we don't know what they go through.  But there is empathy, which ppl should realize you are sick and cannot be the person you once were.  Sometimes they don't, & I don't have the answers for those that think you may be a hypochrondriac or can't possibly believe you are that fatigued and will say "you are depressed".  Well, of course you are depressed.  A chronic illness would make anyone be depressed at some time and yes, maybe all the time.  You do get so tired of waking up every day either in so much pain or have so much fatigue it is a chore to go to the bathroom.  I too have those days where I had just as soon wet the bed as to have to get up.
 
If it wasn't for my grandchildren, I don't know if I would still be here.  If I did something to myself, how could they ever forgive me or maybe even themselves.  And my daughter, who moved 8 hrs away 2 yrs ago, she would blame herself for not being here for me.  I could never hurt them that way.  Think about how your children would feel if something should happen to you.  I'm not saying you may be suicidal, but it's so easy to want to end your suffering when you just feel there's nothing to help you.  Believe me, you both still have so much to give to them.  Even if you can't do the things you want to with them, they still need you to be there for them.  Just to talk to you and listen to your advice of if very little, to have you tell them stories or be their security.  See, to them, you are the greatest, they don't care if you're sick, they still see you as their parent and need you.
 
The one thing that helped me a lot when I was first dxed with lupus was a support group.  Not one that I found and started going to, but the one I started.  I decided after a couple of months of crying and feeling very sorry for myself, that I had this disease for a reason.  For what reason, I didn't know at the time, but I did know if I did nothing, then I was suffering for nothing.  It's sort of like fighting back, staring your disease in the face and saying, "you're not going to take me down".  I ran an ad in the paper and found that lots of ppl in my area had lupus and were suffering just like me & they all felt they had no one that understood them.  I met wonderful ppl and we all wanted the same thing.  A cure.  Even though for most of us, we knew it might not be in time to help us, but for our children or grandchildren to keep them from suffering like we do.  We had ppl from age 15 to 92 and just maybe there was something we could do after all.  We did fund raisers, we did health fairs, we had dinners and birthday parties and really got to know one another and there was our ppl who cared about each other.  I kept this group going for 3 yrs.  I got to sick for a while and we had to stop, but I want to start it back up because again, I still feel if I don't do something, then I have this disease for nothing.  So, if there isn't a support group near you, then start one.  You will be surprised at how much listening to others and thinking of them will take your mind off yourself.  It was a great feeling to know we had collected money that we could help someone buy their medicine who had to stop work and was not approved for disability yet.  Yes, it's great to give money for research, but I also think we have to help those who need help right now.
 
I moved from where I had lived for 25 yrs to be near my family because I thought they would help me.  My husband is also disabled and we really needed help, financially, physically and emotionally.  Well, I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters who all live within 3 miles of me and you know what they have done for me or for us in 11 yrs.  One sister has cooked a meal for us, maybe 2 times.  No one has ever offered to clean my house or do my laundry or just come and keep me company.  Lately, I needed to go to the ER and my husband wasn't at home.  I called my oldest sister so she could come and take me.  She sent my nephew, who I don't really know & have only seen 2 times in 11 yrs.  She knew I needed help getting dressed as I had tried to take a shower and became very ill.  So, as you can see, we have to help ourselves.  Like I said, no one can understand how you feel, unless it's someone who has MS. 
 
I hope I have helped you in some way.  It's okay to have pity parties, sometimes you need them.  Just don't stay at that party to long.  Think about it and I know these ppl on this site really do care, so if you can't get to a local group or you can't start one yourself, then come here and pour your heart out.  They will listen.
 
Rovngypsy
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