Why do I feel so alone?

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npenamar
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/30/2011 3:24 AM (GMT -6)   
I've been dxd with MS for over 14 years now, and it seems I feel so alone having MS.  Of course, my family knows about my MS, as do some friends, and I've even come
across some coworkers who have MS.  But I don't understand why I feel so alone and useless.  I've gone to college, bought a house, married a woman who loves me,
have young children.  Everything should be hunky dory.
 
So, what the ****?  I don't wanna feel like this. 
 
The other day while driving home, I ran over a rodent.  I wanted to burst into tears.  I didn't wanna hit it, but couldn't avoid it.  I'm now scared to death I'll be driving and
a small child will happen into the street, and I won't be able to get my clumsy feet to hit the brake in time. 
 
I feel old, but I shouldn't (I'm 32 yrs old). 
 
I'm afraid for what comes next in life.  I don't feel I"m strong enough to handle whatever it will be.  It's crazy to be feeling like this. 
 
Thoughts anyone??
 

BadDay
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 1074
   Posted 7/31/2011 3:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi i hate using this term but have you considered you may be depressed,  no i don't mean  yeh sure your depressed , i actually mean have you told your doctor these feelings and would anti depressants help, i  know we all go thru the life sucks i feel crap times but when you start crying at the drop of a hat - or mouse as it may be. it is these times you need to look outside for assistance, as for not handelling what life will send you , you'd be surprised how we can adapt to things and when it has passed look back on times we thought were bad and shrug them off with a laugh ha i can handle much more than that!
i do know where you are comming from and it will pass but if you are at all feeling you think you can't handle it seriously ask for help it is out there

michmac
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2011 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I understand what you are going through. I am only a year older than you and was diagnosed 4 years ago. I cry really easily too and feel really alone. It's hard because, for me and maybe you feel this way also, I don't want people to feel sorry for me or treat me like I might break, but I would appreciate a little understanding and sympathy when I am having an attack or a bad day. When those closest to you aren't giving you that, you feel really depressed and alone. I cry a lot every day; I cry myself to sleep most night. And I don't say this to make someone feel sorry for me - I don't tell anyone about this, but I am telling you and others on this board because I feel like you will understand, whereas my husband, for instance, will just get frustrated that I am upset and ignore it instead of trying to help me deal with it. It's also scary not knowing what our MS will do to us - tomorrow, next week, next year...whenever. It really frightens me.

In circumstances like this, maybe the best thing we can do is realize we are deserving of love and respect, even if we aren't getting it from the person we want it from. It hurts, so crying is okay. Holding it all in isn't good. If you are religious, pray. Prayer changes us and makes us better, and that is what it is meant to do.
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

shajony
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/28/2011 3:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been on Prozac for several years and I know it works. I weaned myself off once with doc's advice. After several months I absolutely had to go back on it. My M. S. nurse explained that many M. S. patients are on antidepressants for years. I have also been on Avonex for about the same no. of years. This drug can cause depression also. She also explained that, depending on where our lesions are, this could affect our depression.
It can be a very lonely and confusing ride, having M. S. People cannot see our symptoms and cannot understand the pain and loneliness. I myself find it hard to keep up with our friends and hate to make plans for fear of having to change them. Most of them are very understanding but it is hard on me, for sure. You are not in this alone. Hang in there sweetie. You will have bad days but you will have Very good days too. Enjoy them.
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