MS is scary and frustrating to live with, but, you will be a stronger person, find out who your true friends are, and an inspiration to others, EVENTUALLY.
I can relate to wanting to kill yourself. When I first found out that I had MS (age 22) I said the same thing. I reiterated that feeling when I heard that someone with MS may end up usng a wheelchair. I said "I"m not going to stick around for havng to use a wheelchair, F that!"
However, I broke my ankle (lost my balance) the night before graduating from college, and was forced to use a power wheelchair to traverse the stage to receive my diploma. Once my ankle finally healed, and I was back to walking, I was thankful that I had the chair to use!
Later, when it became difficult to walk long distance (even from the parking lot into and around the store and back) I chose to use a manual wheelchair to move around more quickly.
I'll tell you what, there are plenty of advantages to being deemed 'handicapped, or disable". Like the handicap parking spaces, not waiting in line at airports or amusement parks, and better views ( because people can see over me in a wheelchair, so I get up to the front of the line - like at the Luvre in Paris to see the Mona Lisa~ or at the AT&T Golf tournament at Pebble Beach.
Living with MS is about finiding and appreciating the little things in life. Living with MS is Majorly Frustrating, and will make you Mighty Stubborn *as if you weren't already!*. Living with MS is a huge challenge.
I've been living with my MS diagnosis for 9 years now. Got my Dx at 22 years old (but experienced symptoms for a few years before that).
Hang in there!