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TMfighter2016
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2017 10:57 AM (GMT -6)   
I love my mama I really do but whenever she compares her pain to mine I get upset. I'm hurting real bad and my legs get heavy. She says she's always tiptop, but I know it's not the same. How can I explain it to her without hurting her feeings.

Snoopy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2015
Total Posts : 245
   Posted 3/17/2017 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi TMfighter,

Do you have a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis?

TMfighter2016
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2017 3:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I have transverse myelitis with the possibility of multiple sclerosis.

Snoopy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2015
Total Posts : 245
   Posted 3/17/2017 4:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear that sad

If your mother went to your Neurology appointments she might have a better understanding. There are some people who will always try to "one up" you, even with health problems and pain. There isn't much you can do about your mother if she fits into that, but you can protect yourself by not discussing your pain....I'm sorry, I know that sucks.

It could be just a simple misunderstanding on your mother's part, but if she has always been this way she isn't going to change.
Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1985
PTSD diagnosed Feb 2004 (PTSD since age 2), Anxiety/Panic attacks secondary to PTSD.

TMfighter2016
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2017 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I know she's trying to understand but her pain is different. I am super close to her.

Snoopy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2015
Total Posts : 245
   Posted 3/17/2017 5:17 PM (GMT -6)   
It's nice to hear she is trying. Would it be possible for her to go with you to one of your Neurology appointments, if so this might help her to understand. Even if she doesn't understand hopefully she as empathy for what you are experiencing.
Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1985
PTSD diagnosed Feb 2004 (PTSD since age 2), Anxiety/Panic attacks secondary to PTSD.

TMfighter2016
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2017 5:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I'll ask next time! Thanks ❤

Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3571
   Posted 3/17/2017 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
TMfiighter,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. It seems like some people never know the appropriate response when we describe our health experiences. It must really hurt that you're having to deal with this from your own mother. I'm very sorry.

Snoopy has a good idea here. I think this could help her to understand the depth of what you experience. Your mom seems to need to have her own feelings affirmed. Perhaps if you do that, she may be open to listening to what you're dealing with. She may still want to say she's suffering more. You may need to find your support elsewhere. It's a sad situation. It can really bring you down.

I hope you find real relief soon. Please keep us posted as to how you're doing.
Diagnosed with MS July 2006

I have no lesions on my soul and so I live with no limits.
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