Infant-holding advice

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 3/26/2017 11:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me advice. We are trying to get pregnant and my mom will be over the moon to be a grandma. I'm certain she'll want to hold the baby at every opportunity and I'd love for that to happen. But she has advanced MS and is totally wheelchair bound, and her arms aren't very strong anymore. We're concerned that she might accidentally drop or mishandle a newborn if she tries to hold it without assistance.

I understand that the best policy is generally to ask the person with a disability to define for themselves what they need, but my mom also has some minor brain damage that means she often misjudges her abilities. She breaks a lot of things this way despite her best intentions. I'm worried that in her excitement, she'll be overconfident in this too. I want to have options to present to her that will make sure this is a happy and safe experience for everyone.

I think she might find it helpful to wear a baby sling or carrier, but my understanding is they're not great for newborns.

Does anyone have advice on how she might safely hold a newborn?

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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3568
   Posted 3/27/2017 8:33 AM (GMT -6)   
You have lots of time to research this. You may want to talk to someone who has more experience. I'd ask someone in the physical therapy profession. You can't be the only one in this situation.

There may be a breast feeding pillow she can place on her lap. Those often have a bit of a concavity for cradling a baby. You will need to watch your mom carefully. Your baby obviously comes first. You are very sweet to be concerned about your mom's feelings.

I know that I'm no longer comfortable holding a baby unless I'm seated. Perhaps your mom is aware of her lack of strength and coordination. I wish you the very best of luck on becoming pregnant.
Diagnosed with MS July 2006

I have no lesions on my soul and so I live with no limits.

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/1/2017 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I too suffer aggressive malignant ms and have to say that I'm extremely careful and aware when holding my grandchildren. Ironically, the heavier children are easy to hold but the little ones harder due to the support they need from me. I can totally understand your concern as I speak regularly about it with my daughters. All the best. The breast feeding pillows and yourself close by should calm the nerves and offer a safe cuddle.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2015
Total Posts : 211
   Posted 7/10/2017 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Excellent advice. My MIL had MS. We just let her hold our infant on top of a breastfeeding pillow in her chair and we sat right next to her. Our child took priority. Later, our toddler was able to sit with her Grandmother to cuddle while reading books.

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