Posted 6/14/2006 11:55 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Seejo,

I'm so sorry! It's a shame when family members act that way, we have a few of those in our family as well. You know how you feel and that you not exagerating or making things up so her comments really have no value to you. I'm not sure if your husband has explained all the details to her about what has been going on with you in the past year, if he hasn't then it might be a good idea to have him do that. If she is aware then I would just ignore her comments as she just isn't getting it. Some people are like that with things they can't see or haven't gone through themselves. Take care of yourself, and don't let this stress you out, it's not worth it :-)

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Posted 6/14/2006 3:58 PM (GMT -6)
Hey Seejo

I'm sorry...some people just don't consider things they say before they say them. I imagine u'r mil loves u very much...and prob doesn't see the enormity of ms. I can tell u i am much more sympathetic to it since i'm seeing this possibly first hand. Seems as tho it takes goin thru things to learn compassion sometimes. I agree with the others...she's u'r husband's mother...let him discuss with her what u'r going thru. He is seeing all this as u go thru it and would be a fantastic ambassador for u given that he is also the one common person that u both love very much. Seejo, u have u to worry about. Stess seems to be one thing that people with ms don't need at all. Don't let her or anyone else get to u. I know that's MUCH easier said than done, but for u'r health and the wellbeing of u'r family, u have to find a way to ignore some people. My mother in law loves me dearly and i know it...but i also know she has the mindset that if u can't see the illness it prob isn't that big of a deal. Comes from those days when they didn't accept illness unless u were dragging a bloody limb! ;) I pray ur mother in law will realize what u'r dealing with and will be able to offer support and help to u, but priorities have to be that u are cared for first. Best wishes to u as u deal with this.

Posted 6/17/2006 12:35 AM (GMT -6)


I can TOTALLY understand what it feels like when someone tries to tell you what you feel isn't real. It is real and you know it! I am one of those, like you, that look too good to be sick. My own mother has a hard time with coming to terms with my MS. She doesn't want to hear me talk about my future as if there is anything wrong now. I fight fatigue till I have almost nothing left to fight with. Yet I can be at my mothers house because I am too tired to drive to my home and she wants me to go to the grocery store with her so I can lift the groceries for her after shopping, or do the dishes, or take out the trash! This all seems resonable to a "normal" healthy young person to do for their own mother, so I feel guilty when I can't. She thinks that I am exaggerating. I am not, I assure you.

I am sure your mother-in-law loves you very much. But she may never understand what you feel. I find myself talking with my mother about how MS effects my life all the time so she won't think I am making excuses when she asks me to do things. I also do as much as I can for her on days that are good... She still thinks I am exxagerating when I am not having a good day...

Good luck with you MIL and just know that you aren't alone. I am sure everyone here can think of at least one close person in their life that doesn't want to deal with how this chronic illness is affecting their life.

Sandy C.
Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis September 2003 currently taking Copaxone.

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