Singles with MS..

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alembic629
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/8/2006 11:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I just turned 32 and was diagnosed with MS 4 years ago. It's the aggressive sort and is really becoming a bear to deal with. The cognitive aspect of it is the worst right now, though I have my days when it's really bad. I'm single and really tired of being alone, but just not sure if I'll find someone understanding. Anyone else experienced this situation?...Just wondering what to expect, rejection being the worst scenario.
 
Thanks for all the great information :-)
 
 
greg

Motown John
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 475
   Posted 9/9/2006 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Saturday a.m.
 
Very good morning, Greg:
 
I live in Michigan...and our MS Society chapter has singles meetings...
 
 Maybe  check it out....Great Luck.  John.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 9/9/2006 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Ya Greg, Nice to meet you!  I have had SPMS for 5 years this month and I am also turning 33 in just a few days.  I was newly married when I got diagnosed and it turned out to be something that my husband couldn’t handle so now I am divorced.  I don’t worry about dating or any of that as I figure I will most likely be alone the rest of my life and that is okay with me.  John though has a excellent suggestion of the MS society, I am sure that is a wonderful way to meet people one on one.  Take care



Tiramisu74
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/12/2006 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there Greg.
I know exactly how you :-) feel. I have Diabetes and now, MS. I was just DX on 5/2006. Hope to chat w/ you.
MarleneVIEW IMAGE


Penny0932
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 10/13/2006 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Greg,

I'm sorry you are having so much trouble. Sometimes I think the cognitive losses are one of the hardest symptoms to deal with. 

Anyway, I say don't look for a partner, look for a friend. If something comes of it great but if nothing happens at least you have a lot of good friends that you can lean on. As far as rejection, well that happens to everyone at one time or another and if someone rejects you because of the MS then you don't want to be around them anyway.

I personally gave up on marriage and/or relationships but I'm 45 and I just don't have the energy to work at the give and take that is involved anymore. I'm ok with being single and alone.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Penny

 

 


soulflower
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/13/2006 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Greg,
 
I decided to respond before reading the previous responses because I am interested in seeing what they said :-) .
 
I had kind of thought the same thing as you but my delima is somewhat different.  First of all I am a female and single (42 and no children)
 
I guess that I am one of those with age comes beauty type of women because when I was younger I couldn't buy a date skull . After the age of 38 I had to fight the men off and it is getting worse as each year passes. Now on to the issue.
 
My MS dxs came in June of this year, but 5 years prior I was dxd with lupus but I still had pretty much of the same health problems and symptoms that I have now with the exception of the severeity, new symptoms, progression, etc. When men would ask me out I could never just make plans to dinner and the movies and heaven forbid dancing. I had always been straight forward about my illness but for some reason most of the men I'd meet would let their little egos get crushed and not bother to settle for a nice evening at my home or some other alternative. I did finally meet a guy who has a sister with lupus so I thought AT LAST my day in the sun! (no pun intended)
 
Well that was short lived because he wanted to compare my disease and abilities to that of his sisters. I was always having problems but his sister was in remission but at the time I did not know that I actually had MS. Anyways it became too stressful because after a few months, he too expected me to swing from chandeliers and be there at a moments notice. None were willing to research so I knew that these were not the right companions for me.
 
After long and serious thought I decided that from here on out I will opt to date a man with a disability. I prefer to date a man with many interests and other commonalities and I feel that my physical challenges are just not conducive for dating a more physically abled man. If one had come along that worked out then fine, but it hasn't so I have opted for a change. Years ago before I ever dreamt of a disability I dated an amputee. It was one of the most wonderful dating experiences that I ever had but I ended it because I knew that he wanted children and I learned during our relationship that I needed a hysterectomy. He did go on to marry and have 2 fine boys.
 
I recently met a man in my complex who is a paraplegic. He is really nice and we get along great. Our interests are the same and we have spent hours together talking. I noticed a few weeks ago that he began to pull away after he noticed that I was no longer using my wheelchair. I thinkthat I know what the problem is and I am giving him his space but I plan to eventually go and talk to him about MS. I think that he feels that I may no longer be interested in him because I am not using my chair. He needs reassuring but at the appropriate time.
 
Wow I am supposed to be assisting you and offering support and here I've typed my whole life story. Sorry.
 
I wish you the best, I am sure that the right woman will come along that will love you for you :-) .
 
Soulflower smurf
 

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