My DH and I are shopping for a new PCP. We decided to go with an internist, since they are more geared for caring for chronic illnesses. We had our first appointment with a doctor today who is only a mile from our home.
DH went first, and the doctor carefully reviewed his meds list, his past medical history, his current problems, etc. He did an exam, then recommended some changes to his meds, ordered a CT scan for a problem with DH's abdomen, and then set him up for a Doppler test because DH's feet have been swelling. He seemed very knowledgeable, had a good sense of humor, and seemed to know his stuff.
Then my turn came. I handed him my meds list, the list of doctors and surgeries I've had, and my updated symptom list that I keep of exacerbations of whatever the heck this problem is that I've had for the past year. Please note, that everyone here has recommended that I keep this list, as has my neurologist.
He took one look at my symptom list and told me that I needed to chill out and quit writing down every "little thing." I explained to him that my neurologist asked me to write down a list of new or worsening symptoms to keep track of how this condition was progressing. He said it was rather obsessive. He looked over my symptoms, asked me what had been done, and I told him that I'd been evaluated for MS. He asked me if I'd had any MRIs and what the results were and when I told him that they were normal, he said, "Well then, you don't have MS if your MRIs are normal, do you?."
He then asked why I was taking an antidepressant, one which my neuro had ordered. I told him that she had prescribed it for me for mild depression, and that it also helped with my fatigue (it's Wellbuterin.) He decided to change it and gave me a prescript
ion for something else that will NOT help with my energy levels at all. (I'm not sure if my neuro will like that! I know I don't.)
He then went through my list of symptoms and dismissed them all as being caused by anxiety. Everything. The numbness, tingling, fatigue, nerve pains, weakness in my arms and legs, muscle spasms and stiffness, the tremors, the buzzing sensations (which he laughed at), balance problems, memory and cognitive problems, the bowel and bladder problems, the problems I have walking because my left leg is weak and gives out - all of it is caused by anxiety. (He was a bit more concerned about
my enlarged liver and elevated liver enzymes and the tumor in my left kidney.)
Now, I am probably the least anxious person on the planet. I've been accused of being too laid back because I don't let stuff bother me, I don't get upset over things, I get along with everyone, and I love to laugh and have a wacky sense of humor. I'm not really even sure if I need the antidepressant I'm taking, because I don't feel depressed and never have. I do stay very busy, and I have a lot going on with my home and work life, and all these health problems have kind of ganged up on me over the past year, but I feel like I'm dealing with it all pretty well.
So now, I'm second guessing myself and trying to figure out if all this time, everything, every symptom has been caused by an anxiety that I don't feel. Did last May, I suddenly get overwhelmed by anxiety and start having all of these symptoms? Is that why my MRIs and LP are normal? Because none of this has a physical cause? It's all in my head? But does anxiety cause abnormal reflexes in my legs and feet and an abnormal SSER in my left leg?
I'm so confused! Should I just give up on trying to figure out what is wrong with me and just chalk it all up to anxiety?
Living in Limboland!
I may not know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.