Recent diagnosis, dating, long term relationships, and personal value

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new to the club
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/18/2007 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Need I say more?

 

In a very short time I went from being, in my mind; a healthy, active, adventurous, quite viable guy, in his early 30's, that would enhance the future of a female equivalent to myself; to someone who could seriously jeopardize the freedom and lifestyle of someone I get involved with, sooner or later, and maybe for the rest of her life (since this disease/syndrome/condition/whatever is potentially debilitating but not fatal).

 

This stress is so big for me right now, that it is comforting to make this ridiculous 'single forever' pact with myself.

 

Any singles experiencing, or experienced, the same feelings?

 

(for background, I was diagnosed several months ago, and have mild symptoms that come and go, and am on treatments)


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3550
   Posted 7/18/2007 11:44 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey New,

Welcome to the forum and to the "club".  I can see how worried you are about this but you shouldn't write off love.  That isn't how it works anyway.  When someone falls in love with you, they fall in love with everypart of you.  When I met my husband, he had lost his foot in an accident.  As we got deeper into the dating game, I became well aware of the fact that his disability was permanent and with limits and that there was that potential for it to get worse.  Stumps can lose stability with age and some amputees must go to wheelchairs and or crutches as they lose the ability to manage a prosthesis.  This did not stop me from marrying this most perfect man.  We have been married for 18 years now and he is still the love of my life.  Keep up your hope and live life to the fullest.  You have as good a chance as anyone at finding love and happiness.  Good luck!! 

love and prayers

 


Gretchen
diagnosed: MS  July 2006
 
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. 
Anais Nin
 


ShelleyLVN
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 7/18/2007 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   

I too know exactly how you are feeling right now.  I have had symptoms of MS off and on since 1994, and have yet to be "officially" told I have MS.  My symptoms have become worse, and happening more frequently these last two years. And after 8 years in a wonderful marriage and having two daughters, my husband grew tired of me and "my health problems" and walked out on me our daughters in Aug. 2006.  I have struggled  getting over him, and have been left raising our girls all alone, as well as the house payment,  car payment etc.  I have struggled with weakness, dizziness and balance problems, which make it difficult to do my job as a nurse. As far as finding a new relationship, I figure why bother at this point.  Like you, I used to be full of energy and love to hike and bike ride, but it is just not in the cards for me to do now.  I am lucky to make it thru a 12 hour shift at work. I can't imagine being the burden to someone who can go hiking, bike riding, swimming, and it this point just be able to take a walk around the block some days. 

I do have good days when I can walk, swim etc. But after what I have experienced with my soon to be ex-husband, I guess I am afraid to find love again. I too am in my 30's, and would love to "be in love" with someone again.

Shelley

 

 

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