Well went to the Neuro showdown yesterday and I have been just so disgusted with him and myself that I couldn't get motivated to log in here and tell you guys what happened. Here it is, this week's latest version....
"NOW" and to quote him "Um, well, there are no new lesions, and um, well, the lesions already there could be because of your high blood pressure, and I am not totally sure. Your spinal tap was normal, and all the other tests we did to rule out diabetes, thyroid and a host of other blood tests came back negative. So all these symptoms that you have like numbness and tingling, burning in your feet, fatigue, blurred vision, double vision, memory problems, difficulty walking, stiffness in your legs, intolerance to heat, dropping things, loss of sensation, facial pain, depression, well, nothing screams out to me that you have MS. Therefore I would think that your lesions must be from your blood pressure. (Last week he told my Doctor on the phone it WAS MS).......now it is my blood pressure." (I could have just cried my eyes out after hearing that.)
"I can't rule out MS as you could still have it so we will just have to wait and see what happens"
NEXT APPOINTMENT 9TH MAY 2008!
My GP has put me on diazapam a fair while ago because I asked her for them only for when I can't sleep and I don't take them every night. When he asked me I said oh yes, 1 at night, wasn't thinking and I couldn't remember, then later I remembered that I didn't. He said I don't like this medication and you should stop taking it. I only take it when I can't sleep.
He can go jump. The old 5mg diazapam takes away my anxiety restlessness and sleeplessness and I am not going to stop. I will talk to my GP, she knows I am not addicted to it and I only take it every now and again. A script of 50 lasts me 3 months. I would hardly call that being addicted and it doesn't cause me to have any "weird symptoms". Nothing has changed since I started taking them.
I think I just lost all hope at tackling him right there. Sorry guys, I whimped out! All I wanted to do was get the hell out of his office. He didn't test me, make me walk the plank, nothing! However he has decided to do the Evoked Potential Study in October, well I think it is that test. There is some other sensation test that he wants to do but now I can't remember whether he is doing that or I am being sent to another place........I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID! Anyway he mumbled something about having to send a referral somewhere so I guess they will just let me know or I will get a letter. He kept asking me if I had any other symptoms..do you think I could remember? Nope, I had all the info in my hand to show him and I was just so gob smacked that he had changed his darn mind yet again that I forgot to show him. Anyway, I think he is the sort of Specialist who thinks he knows everything so what would be the use?
Come on September so I can go to the 2nd opinion appointment. Oh, and the other thing.........Do I drink alcohol. Yes I do, he already knows that.
I have a glass of wonderful Australian chardonnay with my meal every night and on Sunday I have 2 glasses of champagne. If he thinks I am giving up the one enjoyment I have left he is dead wrong. I did stop all together about 6 months ago, not one drop for 2 months at least or longer, can't remember exactly how long. It made absolutely no difference what so ever to my symptoms. So what next, is he going to blame my problems on alcohol? Good grief!
Has ANYONE been diagnosed with MS having the above symptoms, multiple scattered lesions in the brain, a clear spinal tap? I feel like I am going crazy.
When I asked him what is causing the numbness, pins and needles in feet and legs, arms and hands, and burning..... Answer: "I don't know."
When I asked him why I am dropping things especially small things like tablets....... Answer:"I don't know"
When I asked him about my chronic facial pain and fatigue..... Answer: "I don't know"
What is causing my wild mood swings.........Answer: "I don't know"
Does he know ANYTHING?????
He said it is just one of those things that can't be diagnosed. Give me strength, I just don't know how much more I can take of this.
Sorry guys, I am real down today, I just feel like I am getting nowhere fast.
I feel like I let you guys down as I was all powered up to tackle him head on, then I dropped my bundle.
I go to my GP on Monday so will have a whinge in her ear. I hope you guys are having a better day than me....I will be ok in a few days and back to my usual self.
Take care all,