Thanks so much Amey for your post and response to mine....thank you as yes, i made hard sticky decision to go back to the ileostomy actually surgery date is Feb 6th 2 days before my b-day...i am trying soooooo hard to just take it with a smile and postive attitude. cuase last timtet i had alot of nausea with the ostomy and lots of leaks, skin irritations and such but i am hoping now going to a different hospital and new stoma nurse be more assistance and advice availuable
i appreciate your honesty about your own experience and feelings. i too tryi to see this as what i need to be as healthy as possible. i feel peace of God not going back and forth on deicison anymore but i can't say i am not scared. I know God is going to walk on water with me and just asks me to take first step out of the boat and trust Him. AFter past 2 surgeries and some bad experiences it is hard to trust again and not feel afraid of more infecitons and near ICU trips...but i have a new surgeon and going to a didfferent hospital and hoping this will be better experinece.
i withdraw from school for the semester this Wed and that will be tough but ok. i do see a counselor for preivious trauma stuff but she has a medical background so helps me with medical issues too. i am going to use this site for support and i will suirely need it too!
i thank you for your support and i am soooooo happy you got home for Christmas and that you got to eat Chrismtas dinner. i guess i am looking at positive things i will be able to do again like eating with less fear of constipatoin. granted, you and i both have slow motility over all but it was better some what with the ostomy before.
wow, i gained over 20 pounds over 10 months last time had bag but also was very very malnourished and so it was a good thing. i also was on a simple sugar. low residue diet so it was easier for my gut to break down carbs and put wt on easier....what kinda things do you eat, same as with colectomy or more restricting now that have stoma?
i don't eat raw veggies or fruits, only nuts when chew like crazy and can't do alot of carbs cause it blocks me up faster. i live on Starbucks and chocolate. with ostomy did alot of souops, icecream, smoothies, cereals, oatmeal, crackers, soft stuff but often high caloric...i was in dorm too so i ate by myself very embarrassed of my ostomy leaking often with output but i think being home this time will help.
i reallky don't know if i made right choice because i look so good on outside and so strong and people don't get why i need srugyer if i look fine. or just thin always been so. but i have had friends with similar illness die due to poop issues and blockages and that may sound crazy but true. peeps don't realize how much we taking going to the bathroom for grainted and how sick it can make you if you can't evacuate toxins out of your body
i guess for me i woke up early this Thurs already deciding going back to school and then it hit me.....the problems the meds the pain not going away. i cuold distract myself with art, school work with keeping busy with comfort food, exercise, etc but it was still my reality. the test results came back ok no obstructions so i thoruhgt hey, i am fine...but deepin my heart i woke up knowing i need to take care of this before it gets worse....or before i really start beliveing more and more the lies that this is my fault or an ed or in my head....
i am gettin more stressed trying to hide my bowel issues and say it's ok...and living off laxatives...i don't want to take anymore! yeah i look ok but i am very thin and i know that in this culture it's ok but i hate passing out feelign dizzy and that's not ok! it's not a bodyimage issue for me or an ed. i have a real illness,that is rare but i am not making it up.
thanks again as your email validated me too and i feel less alone AMey