how can i help my sister she is going to have a ilostomy

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elishasummers
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/12/2008 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
my sister is going to have an ilostomy i ant to help her can anyone tell me how they felt after the surgery and what they needed most help with.so that i can undersatnd what to expect and how to help my sister has 3 children 12,11 and 4
 
 

flchurchlady
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 1/12/2008 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
That's sweet of you to ask how you can help your sister. Does she have someone to watch her children while she's in the hospital? The surgeon might not have told her this, but it can take up to two weeks for the stoma to start working, and the surgeon will not let her go home until that happens. So, she'll want to be prepared for that.

Also, after surgery and spending time in the hospital, she'll feel weak and will need to take it easy when she gets home. Helping with the children, shopping, meals, and household chores, like laundry and cleaning, would be a huge help for the first couple of weeks. She will slowly regain her strength, but it does take a couple of weeks to feel 100% again.

I hope her surgery is a success and that her stoma starts working quickly. Please tell her about us, so she can ask us any questions she may have about life with an ostomy and ostomy care.
Cecilia
 
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy & ileostomy in '06.
Pain-free, med-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


headphones
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 1/12/2008 9:40 PM (GMT -7)   
i agree with cecilia, cleaning and meals. and rather than saying "let me know if i can do anything" like most people do, i have found it so helpful when someone calls and says "hey i'm at the grocery store, can i pick up anything for you?" something more specific rather than the general 'call if you need anything'. i'm not someone who likes to ask for help so i never called anyone and asked favors. i wasn't comfortable with friends cleaning my place but maybe since your her sister she'll take you up on it and keeping up on the laundry would probably be sooo helpful. i'm 2 months out from my ileo surgery and i'm just now getting up and able to make myself something to eat. i'm 7 months pregnant and had some other setbacks though so hopefully she'll be doing better sooner. your sister's lucky to have you!
headphones
29 yr. old female
diagnosed with pancolitis uc 7/05
emergency ileostomy 11/07

vitamins, TPN
pregnant~ due in march


DW38
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 1/13/2008 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   

I am new to this site. But i just had my ileostomy 3 weeks ago. The main problem that i am hearing from everyone is depression. I havent had that. Ive had my moments of crying because of my bag not fitting and buring my skin, but just make sure she keeps the bags fitting good, and she will not have a problem. The main thing for her to remember is, this surgery pain is only temporary, and she will feel wonderful when its all over and healed. She needs to have a positive outlook when going into this, she will heal faster. I was in the hospital only 7 days. my stoma started woking about the 4th day. everything went fine. The kids have been keeping up the house, and cooking. They are not good house keepers, but they are trying. Its hard to sit here and see thing undone, yes. But let her know that its only temporary. It will be ok. You will be supprised what 11-12 year olds can do around the house. It sounds like she has a wounderful support team. Just help keep her spirits up for faster healing.

 

i hope this helps.
Debi

elishasummers
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/14/2008 2:12 AM (GMT -7)   

thankyou all so much were six sisters all together so the house work is all in order, and picking the kids up from school is sorted, her husband even pays a lady to do the housework every week so she does the ironing if need be. i didn't know it could take up to 2 weeks i think i'll skip that bit out untill after the surgery, as when things unfold. her kids a wonder kids they keep the house tidy and are really considerate of her illness, i thank god for that as when my older sister went through the same illness and surgery she didnt have support, her kids were great but her husband didn't acre infact he gave her more misery, and she told me that she had to be on feet straight away bcoz she had no support, so the situation this time is alot better. i was really worried about the emotional side, my sister finds it hard to ask people to do things so we do it anyway, and she very rarely lets it show how much pain she is really in, it  makes me cry when she actually talks to the surgeon as i went with her, she started to say how much she aws going through, the pain, the weakness etc... i didn't cry then but when i went home i was in tears i think you all are sooo brave and i realy pray that all goes well for those who have ahd the surgery and those are set to ahve it

thanks again 


flchurchlady
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 1/14/2008 4:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Elisha,
Wow ~ six sisters ~ that must've been fun growing up! My husband has five sisters, and I thought that was a lot! I'm sorry that one of your other sisters had to go through being sick, too, and without a supportive husband. I just don't understand how some people can be that selfish to not support someone who is sick.

Anyway, it sounds like this sister has lots of support from her husband and help with the children, meals, and the upkeep of the house, which is great! One thing that would've helped me after my ileostomy surgery would have been if someone kept a close eye on my hydration.

Let me explain...
My ileostomy took 10 days to work. I started throwing up, since nothing was passing through, and they took me off the IV fluids too soon. When my ileostomy did start working, it put out pure liquid like crazy, which on top of the vomiting, caused me to become severely dehydrated. I just wanted to point out that this can happen, because I found out the hard way, and I don't want anyone to have to go through what I went through.

So, it would be helpful if someone could visit her every day and make sure they don't take her off the IV fluids too soon. I hope her surgery goes really well. Please keep us posted on how she's doing.
Cecilia
 
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy & ileostomy in '06.
Pain-free, med-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


peggy113
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 1/14/2008 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Elisha,

Can I just say that I am so happy that you have taken it upon yourself to find this forum and ask the questions that you have to help your sister get thru this surgery and have a good recovery.   Welcome to HealingWell.com   Everyone has given you great information.  You know your sister better than we do and you have taken such a huge step in contacting all of us.  Your caring certainly shows.  It sounds like you two are really close, and you are reaching out to better understand what she may go thru in the weeks to come.  How nice it would be to have a sister like you...  I just want to wish her and you the best of luck.  Please keep us updated on her surgery and recovery.


Peggy
      
Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 
 


elishasummers
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/16/2008 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
thankyou all for replying and thanks for thr hydration tip i will surely keep that in mind ,on saturday night my sister was really bad and she thought of going into a&E but  she didn't,on tuesday we went out to shops only went to a few and after eating we went home but that was it she started going to the toilet i had to go and collect her daughter from school. my sister said that even pain killers as strong as co-codmal were now not working and she is taking 6 a day, sorry to be brutel but she said she was getting big huge clots of blood and skin in the toilet, is this normal at this point her surgery is next week, please reply

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 1/16/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
i don't think that huge clots are ever normal, and i have no idea where the skin would be coming from, i think maybe she should go to the ER, or see her GI asap
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