I've been away from the forum for a couple of months, laying low, adjusting to my newest stoma Stella (as in Stellar, but female and sassy). We definitely have a love/hate relationship. Now my gyn *i have a colostomy due to reproductive issues* is asking when I plan to start trying for a child and my colorectal surgeon has me scheduled for 5 or 6 different tests to see if they can figure out why my rectum doesn't work. I have to self-catheter to urinate, though I am getting more sensation so there is confirmed nerve damage at play.
I don't want to take these tests. REally, i don't. Anal mnenometry, defetogram (they fill your butt with day-glo paste, sit you on a port-o-potty and take x-rays!). My butt doesn't work, period. I had an ileostomy, it was reversed, i struggled through 90 days without an ostomy, stopped eating and had an emergency colostomy for Christmas 07. Is it unreasonable for me to ask for the tests to be delayed for a couple of months while I adjust some more to a. returning to work b. weighing my reproductive options (of all things) c. rebuild my physical strength d. rebuild my mental and emotional resources...?
My surgeons are so gung-ho. "let's fix camille!" I am quite weary of being fixed. Each surgery (6 major, one minor for 2007) takes a tremendous emotional toll on me and re-entering the world is also complicated. I just feel as though more is being thrown at me than I care to deal with/am able to deal with. I'm starting to have problems getting to sleep and I don't want to wake up until well-past noon. I'm not depressed or listless, I'm just ambivalent about
the medical stuff right now.
I guess I can call my dad and tell him we're getting started again. I'd just rather not do it until June or something like that. Summertime when it's fun to be outside and the sunlight warms away the cold of the x-ray lab. Am I bordering crazy on this, how do I tell my docs and is this unreasonable?