Well, I have finally decided to schedule a date for surgery--May 6th. I used to post under "ConsideringaBag," but I thought it best to change my name as that is no longer the case!!
This last year has been a hard one. My Crohn's just seems to creep up on me, slowly getting worse so that by the time that I am REALLY sick, I am so used to it that it is hard to realize what healthy even feels like...does that make sense?
I am a teacher, and I am so sick of running to the bathroom between classes and having horrible stomach pain while I am teaching. It takes all the energy I have to make it through a day lately, and my poor fiance!--whenever he wants to go out and do something fun I am always too pooped from work... :( I am so boring!!
He is supportive of the surgery, but of course I am afraid he won't be able to deal with it--even though he has told me over and over that he can. :) He is very sweet and good to me. I also do not want ANYONE to know, except my parents (I even considered not telling my own siblings that I am going to get a bag--just make them think it is a resection surgery or something. This is NOT because I feel ashamed of anything--it is because I could not stand it if people began treating me differently (I can see people kind of babying me, thinking I am delicate, or just feeling awkward).
I want to adjust before anyone else has any idea about
it...am I just really weird??
I feel sad at time, but the main thing I feel is RELIEF that I finally scheduled a date so that getting this done is not hanging over my head any more...!
Anyway, I hope you all will be
open to the many questions I KNOW I will have...