Funny...and entirely too true!--enjoy

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 4/7/2008 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Medical Insurance Explained!

I think who ever wrote this really hit the nail on the head.

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go
back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered
that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was
poked hard enough in the eye.

Q . I just joined an HMO How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I
A Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer
will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the Plan. The
doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer
accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer
participating in the Plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is
still in the Plan and accepting new patients has an office just a
half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A . You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.
I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What
should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart
transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20
co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next decade?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 4/7/2008 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
ha!! i feel like iv experienced all of those issues! lol
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!
 Temp Ileostomy performed 1/29/08
Still Adusting has been my Godsend...Thank you

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 4/7/2008 8:23 PM (GMT -6)   
ROFL ---> priceless!! tongue

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1251
   Posted 4/8/2008 5:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Aaaahhh, so that's how it works! My US friends have tried countless times to explain the US Medical System for me but until I've never quite understood (but then again, I don't think the majority of US people do either) lol

Think I'll stick with the Aussie Universal Medical system :)
I have had an ileostomy for 32 years now due to UC.
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 4/8/2008 3:22 PM (GMT -6)   
That about sums it up! Well done Justjenjen!

Ileostomy since August 2005.
As result of surgery (modified whipple) for necrotising pancreatitis. Removal of gallbladder, 2/3 of pancreas, resections of large and small intestines. Massive infection. 

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