having a good time aka sex :)

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 6/21/2008 1:42 AM (GMT -6)   
This post has 2 reasons one to find out how do you deal with having this bag and sex and a little venting

first do you do anything special before / during making out and sex with your pouch am asking because I have always keep an eye on it and trying to hide it as much as I can but that just makes it so I don't have as much fun as I should be because am always thinking about it

I have been going out with this girl and just want to say that she is the best she doesn't say anything about my pouch or even act like it there but we have been having more and more “fun” and so far I never took off my shirt so I could try to hide my pouch as much as I can and I have a feeling that she never tried to take it off because she knows am really nervous about it but the other day we were going about to have sex for the first time and not just with each other but first time ever for both of us and my number one fear came true just as forplay was done and I was so into it I forgot about my pouch for the first time so I started to “go for it” and what do I see... the clip on the pouch came off so my bag was now empty onto the bed. In having my ostomie for the around 2 years now this has to be my lowest moment but once again my girl was the best she didn't freak out as I was and kept telling me its fine and that she doesn't care she loves me and if thats what she has to deal with when being with me then she doesn't care its fine

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 6/21/2008 1:49 AM (GMT -6)   
well she does love you, obviously.
That right there is the reason i hate the clips! being a girl i cant' say i know exactly what you could do, but i roll my bag up and tape it up that way. Then it doesn't hang down.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 6/21/2008 11:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry to hear about the bad clip experience. Despite that it sounds like your gf was truly ok with the situation. If you want it out of the way just try wrapping or taping it. The most important thing for you to do really is FORGET about IT AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! I'm lucky in the sense that I have been with the same guy since before I had a bag but it didn't stop me from being totally weirded out about it when we first resumed activities. I know it bothered me a million times more than it ever bothered him.

BTW--what type of clip do you use? I've never had a clip issue in over 8 years, so it made me wonder.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1251
   Posted 6/21/2008 12:52 PM (GMT -6)   
If she says she still loves you despite all that, believe her. We usually have more hangups about our bags than our partners do. Most often, they're just glad we're alive and well and able to be with them - they understand that mishaps can happen.
WE'RE the one's who worry about what they'll think - usually that worry is all for nothing - you'll find that usually, they don't worry even a quarter as much as we think they will - in this case IT REALLY IS all in our heads!

I have had an ileostomy for 32 years now due to UC.
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

Post Edited (Shaz032) : 6/21/2008 11:55:27 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 6/23/2008 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
i use the hollister new image two-piece, i think the main problem was that i had been using the same clip for about 2 weeks

i hate this darn ostomy i know most of its in my head but i hate going out to eat because the little ****er likes to make a lot of noise and i have to empty 2 or 3 times before i can forget about it again... i guess am just lucky that am with someone that doesn't care which is amazing for our age (18 and 21)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 6/23/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
try taking some gas-x before you go out and also don't let yourself get hungry, that makes it worse, i always try to eat a little bit before i go out somewhere even out to eat, which i know sounds silly. Also, you can put some squares of cloth i use pieces of wash cloth over it, and that muffles the sound i don't do it everytime and it doesn't show under my clothes. Another thing you could do is take a few immodium before you went out on a trip like that.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 6/23/2008 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
How strange about the clip. I use hollister products and the clips they come with and never have a problem. For 6 years I used a different brand of bags (convetec) but used the exact same hollister clip (I didn't care for the convetec ones) all those years. As for the noise, I know when I had a colostomy it was much nosier all the time. Then when I got an ileostomy for months after it too was very noisy; but now that I'm finally healed it is as quiet as could be. I was 23 when I got my first bag I know how self conscious I was--it will get better.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/23/2008 1:41 PM (GMT -6)   
My bf wears a tight red workout shirt when he's "in the mood" that keeps his bag close and he can relax and enjoy the moment with me. He has had an experience like you did not long ago and he jumped up and totally freaked out...I truly thought there was a fire or something and when I found out that his bag had become dislodged, I just thought "Oh, jeez, I thought it was a real emergency..." He said he has never felt so embarrassed and that my reaction saved his dignity...I have children, I have been peed on, pooped on, and puked on and I still love them...this is no different to me. So let's change the sheets and get on with 'it' ;)

You have an amazing girl...believe her when she says that if this is how life with you is, then that's how it is...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 629
   Posted 6/28/2008 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
sounds like she's a keeper!!!

Dec 2006: Proctocolectomy/permanent ileostomy
Since 1991: Indeterminate crohn's/ulserative colitis

Glad Bag
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 7/2/2008 4:40 PM (GMT -6)   
hi realnoname,

my first reaction is like the others, wow, what an amazing girl you have found yourself with!

but then I have thought about it a bit more, especially since I have been involved with a new girl myself lately.

what really amazes me is, whether we believe it or not, lots of women would have the same response. As much as people get all embarrassed about all things poopy....we all know it's a fact of life, and once you have reached that level of intimacy with someone, I think it takes a real cold person to make you feel bad about something you obviously have no control over.

add that to the fact that most women see more than skin deep, she obviously likes you for who you are....

my final thought is, don't let yourself think this is the only girl who will ever accept you. I had that fear before and you don't want that to lead to you being with the wrong person. She may be right in some ways, but not in others.....so follow your heart....and your head.

with that said, i have to agree, with a girl who responds to a situation like that in such a cool way, she is certainly a real gem, whether she is your gem, remains to be seen

Welcome here and come back often, I hate to admit, but i love these topics....especially the perspective from another guy, not just the women.

I am going to end now since I have finished thoroughly contradicting myself....

Hope to see you post again.

Nat - aka Gladbag - from California, soon to be in Vegas!
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together!" - The Beatles

doesn't that just sound cool when you sing it?

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