Thank you SO MUCH for your replies. You are not wrong when you say the dynamics/relationship between my Dad and me is totally different than when I'm caring for people as a Paramedic. I'm used to people listening to what I say, and trusting that I am going to do what's best for them. I guess Dad still sees me as his child, so how could I possibly know more than he does about
a subject...yet I'm the first one he comes running to when anything is wrong. And...it isn't just the colostomy...its EVERYTHING...finances, his horrible back & debilitating pain...yet if I make a suggestion for a solution...I get a bunch of crap about
Dad was not a terribly loving or supportive father during my childhood, and is an "mild" alcoholic (if there is such a thing). There are lots of unresolved issues and resentment on my part. But, I just thought I was grown up enough to let sleeping dogs lie and take care of my father in his old age because that's what good children do...but it seems impossible sometimes, and I wonder which one of us will crack up first!!!
It's funny, after yesterday's blow up, he's tip-toeing around me, when to the doctor today...yep, it was a yeast infection. Maybe he got scared I would kick him out. (My other sister, rather than deal with his issues, made it so miserable for him that he finally left her home; so I'm the second shot). Its great to know that people should not need to mess with their colostomy bags continuously, and it does make sense that it could have been a yeast infection causing it...but he says its to manipulate the contents to the lower part of the bag. He does it without even realizing it...its like a tic or something. I told him about
it yesterday and all he did was yell and curse at me that I was lying, that he didn't mess with it and that I didn't know what it was like and that you HAD to do that ...so I figured I'd ask the folks who would know. You're also right in that I need to find a way to enjoy my time with him...somehow.
I keep asking God to forgive me for my uncharitable attitude and lack of patience...I only hope things get better for us. It's been 2 years, and it seems to get worse all the time. Maybe what I really need is a support group for caregivers of adult parents...Hmmm...Anyway, thanks for allowing the rant. Any other suggestions are welcome.