Well I'm surviving. Living now on honeynut cheerios, chicken/turkey and noodles,apple sauce, and pbj sandwiches, and water... I'm so sick and tired of my therapist and the nurses at the dr.s office accusing me of devising a plan to lose weiight by fooling them into thinking I am sick so that I may be free to use all the laxies I can use. Well, I've got news for them. I am not faking. My sitz marker test prooves it, not to mention that my stomach xrays show my colon is completely full of crap, my stomach distension looks like that of a pregnant woman of 8 months. I have used every single darn chemical, high fiber, lax. there is with no results. My only relief is to use an enema once a day so that i may make room for today's meals. The pain is horrible on a scale of 1-10 it s at 8. The facial swelling and hand swelling makes me look huge. I'm very uncomfortable. I actually want to eat normal now. I've been to treatment 4 my ed. Why does almost everyone except those who live with me think that this is all about
my eating disorder. I am terrified to death of surgery but I'm at my wits end.
I mean I m 24 yrs,and I want my life back that's why i went to ed trtment because i was so sick of being controlled when i thought i was in control. I'm scared the doctors are just going to leave me in this horrible state, I can't take much more. SURGERY looks to be like the light at the end of a very long dark cold tunnel. I never feel good. I have to try very hard to keep my food down. It's like i have a lint ball in my stomach and everything (food) sticks to it and the ball gets bigger and bigger only it is poop. Its like a poop baby. People even ask am i pregnant, i want to cry. I am counting on this specialist dr. to be able to answer a list of questions, and identity my problem besides CI if there is and a permanent solution so i don't have to live like this much longer.
I go back to work tommorow. I am in pain, i havent went poop on my own in a month and half( i hv to use an enema everyday)
I don't know if this will ever get any better. I do know it can always get worse. I just pray that God will help me once and for all
Post Edited (hopestar) : 7/17/2008 4:40:00 PM (GMT-6)