Sheesh, that's bad. Nothing like kicking you when you are down. Have you thought about counseling, both individual and together? No matter what you decide, you need to concentrate on your recovery. You can postpone your reversal for as long as you like.
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998
1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics
2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic
2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free