i wrestled with the devil you know theory alot also, in fact i would say the same thing you are saying. I finally overcame it by looking at it like this.
i KNEW (without one doubt) that i HATED my life the way it was, i was unhappy and sick all the time. I looked around and i saw that i MIGHT not be happy with surgery.
So to me, that Might far outweighed that knew. You realize what i am saying, i don't think i explained it well, lol.
You can wear it along time without it exploding, i sometimes go 8hours without emptying. when i am going out, like with friends or something and dont' have to worry about it filling up, i take a few immodium and some gas-x and then i don't have much output and gas. So no worries there!
you can have your bottom sewn up and then you won't have any leakage, i will tell you the truth to me not having a butt hole anymore washarder to come to terms with than not having a colon, i just thought that was weird, lol. now, it cracks me up when people will make the joke, "what you got stuck up your butt?" or jokingly say, "go stick it up your butt" and they don't know, and i just almost roll on the floor laughing!!!
Anyway good luck!