Questions about Ostomies... I am new to all this.

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/5/2008 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   

My girlfriend has colostomy bag after being seriously assaulted a number of years ago. We have only just started dating and she is very self conscious about it. To me, it is neither here nor there. I knew she had it before we started dating and I love her absolutely and unconditionally so it really doesn't bother me at all.

Still, I know very little about this kind of thing and I joined this forum in the hope that if I do have any questions I could ask them here as she doesn't like talking about certain things but I would like to know more... I don't actually have any specific questions right now. I'll see if this gets any replies before I think of some.

She is hopefully getting reversal surgery soon (I say hopefully because it is what she wants), if anyone has any experience with this I would like to be able to ask some stuff about that.

Anyway, I'll see if anyone reads this before I start writing an essay!

Thanks for your time,


Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 9/5/2008 7:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Ask away!! There are a few on these boards who are the SO, mother, daughter, etc. of an ostomate. :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 9/5/2008 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to Healing Well.  :-)  I think it's wonderful that you're so supportive of your girlfriend. It sounds like she's been through a lot. You might be able to help some people here, too, because we get a lot of questions from new ostomates who are nervous about dating. Since almost all of us have ostomies, you could shed some light on the subject from the perspective of someone who is dating an ostomate.

I was already married when I got my ileostomy. My husband had seen me sick with Crohn's Disease for 7 years, so he is thrilled that I'm healthy and doesn't even notice my ostomy. His acceptance of it has really helped me accept it, too.


Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/6/2008 2:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, thanks for the replies... If I can be any help to anyone I would be really happy.

One thing I would like to ask is about the reversal surgery... My girlfriend has a colostomy which is the result of having her bowel ruptured and her uterus torn and the muscles in her anus damaged... Apparently the surgery is to replace the muscle with working muscle (I am not sure if this is from her body or from elsewhere) in the hope that the body accepts it and everything can be reconnected (I don't know the medical terms).

I was wondering if anyone knew the success rate of this type of operation. My girlfriend is only 16 and I guess having a colostomy at 16 is pretty tough so she is counting on this to make her feel happier with herself. I don't want to ask her about the rate of success cause I know she will get uneasy thinking about the chance it may be unsuccessful...

vette guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 9/7/2008 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   
David-I don't know how old you are. But knowing that your girlfriend is 16 I'm pretty confident when I say you sound mature beyond your years! Way to go!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 9/8/2008 1:55 AM (GMT -6)   

VG, My thoughts exactly. 

DavidWhy - how refreshng to talk to someone your age with such compassion and knowledge.  I hope we are helping to answer some of your questions - great questions BTW!


Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/8/2008 6:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Ha ha... Thanks. I am quite a bit older then my girlfriend actually, I am 22 (I am in England so it is legal and all above board - Her family love me too so it's not an illicit relationship :P). I think she is mature for her age and I am not so we meet somewhere in the middle and it works well!
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