Well, I can surely relate to your feelings, but I have to admit that I think I have gotten past worrying about what everyone thinks...the way I did it is to tell people in detail what the real problem is, sometimes it was awkward or uncomfortable, but I am much closer to everyone I have shared intimately with about my ostomy and other Crohn's issues (like fistulas)
now there are some people who I just decide have no reason to know...others, I will tell more about if they ask, and then there are some of my friends, that I talk to about it, just because I need someone to listen to me, and this board, while great, does not substitute completely for the value of sharing one's deepest most intimate secrets with another person, face to face, up close and personal. There is such a bond that happens when an exchange like that occurs...
Recently, I have decided to have a proctocolectomy (i now have an temp ileostomy). Now, some of my friends, who i have trusted before to talk to about it, have been honest with their thinking about the surgery, they have asked me, are you sure you want to go ahead with it? what's nice is that I actually believe they are asking because they care, not because they want to judge me about it. that has only come from feeling confortable enough to be open and honest with them, sometimes in farily graphic detail even...
The biggest challenge for me has to do with the fact that I have many perianal fistulas....trying to explain that to someone can be tough, and is guaranteed to make you feel awkward, but the more I have talked to people about it, the more those people can empathize with me, not just say "awww. that's sucks" but to really mean it, and to really here that they hope I get through it all.
anyway, i wish you luck and hope you learn that in the end, you are your own judge, it is your decision, and you have to live with it....
Good luck and I hope you feel better.
if you ever want to discuss it more, you can email me (the mail button next to my name)
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together!" - The Beatles
doesn't that just sound cool when you sing it?