ha ha peggy i am famous at your house!
i do have a story from today, it isn't ostomy related but i will share it, you guys will probably get a kick out of it.
I had to go to a funeral today (not the funny part, that part was sad) but of course i had to dress nicely, had on a skirt, hose a nice shirt, and for some reason when i go to a funeral i think i have to curl my hair, so i had my hair curled.
After the funeral i was going to my friend andy's house to make jello shooters (if you dont' know, it's jello with vodka) i stopped and got a cherry milkshake on the way, remember that it's important for later.
So i get to his house, and i go to bring all my stuff in, i have alot of stuff.
Go in and get the things out ready to make them. Ok, the way you make these is you make jello but instead of using the cold water, you use vodka, so what you do is boil your water, mix the powder in then pour the vodka in. now we tried this last week and they were horrible.
Ok so i have looked online and found a new way to do them. This way, you take oranges or limes or whatever, and you scoop out the pulp and make the shots in there. (it's a long story)
So, here i am, in my fancy clothes, my hair is flying all over, so i am like, get me a hat, ok so now i am here in my fancy clothes with this old ratty ball cap old, that he had been wearing i think non stop for ten years, lol.
Ok, so i have the oranges trying to scoop the pulp out, however this is not going well, there is pulp flying everywhere, it's all over the floor all over me, all over him. but we keep trying. So we accidentally cut a hole in the bottom of one of the oranges, so we decide to tape the hole over and see if the jello will stay in anyway, then we decide also that we should stuff foil under it too. So we put it in a muffin tin, taped on the bottom, foil all around it, and pour the jello in, we think all is going well, until we look again and the stuff is pouring out over the sides.
Ok, so now it is time for the limes, and this is where it gets good. It's not easy to get the pulp out of a lime, especially when all you have is a steak knife and a spoon. So, i am trying and i can't get it, so i get the bright idea to try to cut the lime a little then turn it inside out, scrape the pulp out and turn it back again you can't do that, just so you know, when i try to do it, the pulp goes flying across the kitchen, like it has been shot out of a gun! it's on the opposite wall of the kitchen, now i am covered in orange and lime, so, i get another lime and think maybe i can suck the pulp out, actually this is his idea, not thinking of how sour limes are, i try it, wow that was BAD, and it didnt' work either. So, finally after about
4 limes and lots of mess, he has found a way to do it, and it's actually workign pretty well, but it'staking forever, and he has a cut on his finger so like ever two seconds he is stopping and licking his fingers and whining (this is some sanitary stuff going on here, lol) but finally we have the limes ready to go. i go to get my milkshake and not really sure how this happens, but i end up spilling it, so now there is milkshake, lime and orange all over me, and all over everything! Now Andy gets this idea to put the parts of the lime we have taken out and cover them in sugar and then we will just eat them, which btw is pretty good. however when we go to do this, and pick the lime up out of the sugar the sugar falls off, again all over me. and all over the floor. So i am just yummy now, lol. We have probably eaten the insides of about
5 limes now. which puts so much acid in your stomach that it actually begins to eat itself.
We are done so i go to clean up, ok here i am in this dress clothes, the skirt isn't short short, but it's not long either, i am down on the floor mopping the stuff up, trying to keep my skirt from showing stuff, so i move a tiny bit, mop a spot then pull my skirt down, well my hose are fallign down because of this,, so now i am taking one step, standing up, pulling my hose up and my skirt down, still wearing the hat and high heels. there is orange and lime pulp on the door, its in the laundry room, which has been closed up the majority of the time, it's on the ceiling, it's everywhere! he is laughing at me trying to clean all this up, well now here comes this random dog into his garage,, which is next to the kitchen and the door is
open, so then, here comes the dog into the kitchen, ran in on it's on, i am on the floor trying to mop, keep my hose up and my skirt down, covered in all this stuff, wearing a ball cap, and the dog comes runnign up to me, licking up orange and lime. Dogs make funny faces when the lick lime, lol.
So, finally all this is over it has taken us over two hours to do this. Now i go home, i am going out with some friends and don't have time to change clothes, so i just clean the stuff off me as good as possible. Andy was not plannign on going with us. But he shows up about
half way through dinner, and sits across from me. Well i still have this stuff on me in places, he starts messing with the straw in his tea, and all of a sudden tea comes flying across the table at me, so lets add tea to the mess, then he decides to pour salt on the table, which somehow ends up in my lap.
Needless to say, as soon as i get home i get in the shower.
Post Edited (summerstorm) : 10/2/2008 10:17:05 PM (GMT-6)