In the case of a colostomy, you can 'retrain' your bowels by irrigating - that means giving yourself a water enema every 24 - 48 hours via the stoma which returns all stool at once. Once your bowels are 'trained' properly in this technique, you should remain stool free for the rest of the time meaning that you don't have to wear a bag. However, not all colostomates can irrigate (no ileostomates can) and even if you are a candidate for irrigation, you don't have to if you would prefer to just let nature take it's course and wear a bag full time.
That's all I can think of what she means. If you're having an ileostomy, that stoma will do as it pleases regardless of your wishes lol
I have had an ileostomy for 32 years now due to UC.
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