I'm sorry you're having such troubles with UC. I had Crohn's for 7 years in my rectum and lower colon, so I understand what you're going through. My surgeon told me that I was not a candidate for the j-pouch, since my rectum was diseased. It's worth asking, but that's probably the case for you, too.
From the studies that I've read, the chance of getting colon cancer increases dramatically after having Crohn's or UC for more than 7 years. After the Remicade stopped working for me, that was a big factor in my decision to have surgery. In 2006, I got a permanent ileostomy and had my diseased colon and rectum removed.
I have no regrets about having surgery, because I've been disease-free and medicine-free for two years now. It's such a gift to be healthy again, and I wish that for you, too.
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)