I am younger (31yrs old) and I also found it hard to be comfortable with my boyfriend when I had my ileostomy. For the first little while I felt more comfortable wearing a tank top while being intimate so that I was not worried about the bag. It sounds like you are a very strong man who has survived a lot! Good luck!
October 2003 - Dx/ed with Crohn's disease
April 2004 - 2ft of small bowel removed plus complications due to abdominal abcesses - 6 weeks in hopsital
October 2006 - perianal abcess, surgery to have drain inserted
February 2007 - abcess wont heal surgery for temporary ileostomy, started Remicade
Oct 16th, 2008 - Surgery to reverse Ileostomy - in Remission first time ever!!