my ci is bad enough for not letting me lead a normall life style. half of the day i'm struggling on taking out of my bowls as much as possible, the other half i'm at work, struggling with the pain and bloating. so i go from b/r to work and from work to b/r - that's how my life look like. in the weedends i take a great amount of laxative to clean my self better, and for the whole day i'm bound to my home. i'm in pain from the bloating 90% of the time, i'm tired all the time - it is'nt a normal kind of fatigue, it's more like my bones, flesh, skin - are all soooo exhausted and squeezed. i feel sick all the time. if i don't make the effort of creating a b/m at list a little every day, i'll won't be able to function at all b/c of the pain, and another problem is when i don't have any kind of a b/m at list a little bit a day, i leak urine in very small amounts during the day. it's like a little drop here, a little drop there, every 20 minutes or so, and it makes me feel very filthy and smelly and i'm uncomfortable being around ppl like this, so i have to make the effort to make my self go every day, and it takes me hours to have some kind of a result.
i'm just so scared of this surgery and the outcome and sometimes i guess i try to run away from it. my gi and surguen and everyone around me telling me i should have it already. i just need to work on my fears of being incontinant (sp?) and some more other fears i have from having this surgery.
i'm realizing lately that there's no real cure for my fears other than just to do my best to be optimistic and beleive in my self and in my surguen, and hope for the best results. just have to go with the most possitive attitude there is.
by the way, OMG karen, you're surprising me with your surgery date. i'm new here, but i've read all the posts and as i recall you were saying you're supposed to have your surgery sometime in the beggining of next year, now you're schesuled for 27 november!!!!!
that's just around the corner....
i hope for the best of luck to you as i'm hoping for my self and for every one else on this board.
i'm praying for all of us.
06/05/2007 - STARR procedure
colonic inertia w/ pelvic floor dysfunction
Post Edited (2b ColonFree) : 11/10/2008 2:11:06 PM (GMT-7)