Good Afternoon ... I hope that this posting finds everyone in good spirits ...
While I am unfamiliar with openly posting about certain issues, I find myself in a position where there seems to be nowhere that I can find out how to deal with my particular situation ...
Although I am not the patient, I am married to a wonderful woman who was diagnosed 3 years ago with endometriosis. We had only been married a short time, and are both fairly young. She had the surgery, which successfully removed the growth (but involved having a colostomy), and was told that she would have to wait a few months before she could have the reversal surgery. To make a long story shorter, it has been almost 3 years, and 4 additional surgeries later. Nothing has worked, and she is faced with the possibility of having to wear her ostomy bag for good. Here is where a very serious set of problems have began.
To begin with, my wife has been, is, and will always be a wonderful woman in my eyes. But there are some very disturbing signs that have emerged within the past year or so. While always having been an outgoing & friendly person, she is now very quiet, and talks frequently of feeling "dirty", "unfeminine", and "severely depressed". As well, the very slightest of references to some things (children and related) usually triggers severe emotional reactions. The same reaction occurred when a good friend of hers recently gave birth to her first child. We have no children together, although I do have 2 from a previous relationship.
Unknown to her, I have recently had several conversations with friends who are all quite worried about her. None of us seem to be able to find any way to help make her feel any better. The situation has gotten so serious in my mind that I am considering having a full on conversation with her parents & letting them both know the complete story of what is going on (even though I had promised my wife that I would not do so, and would let her tell her parents everything about her condition). Her parents are both wonderful people, and I believe that their intervention (if you will) might be a very positive thing. They are obviously aware of what her condition is, but not to a full extent.
Bottom line at this very moment is that I really don't know what to do. I feel that I am failing her as a husband, as the best that I can do is tell her that I love her, and that her condition isn't the end of the world. Others have told me that knowing one is loved no matter what is the most important thing. But it is not working. Her friends are seeing the same results when they attempt to talk to her also.
If anyone who frequents these forums has had any such experiences, I would be forever in your debt if you could provide me with any sort of direction.
Thank you in advance for your replies, and god bless.