YIKES! the big "C" word. I think the thought of cancer is scarier than having an ostomy. That was a major factor in my decision to have a total colectomy. I'm only 28 yrs old, but I was told my colon was so bad, that I would most likely get cancer. The ? wasn't if, but when. My GI was already looking for neoplastic cells.
After I had my baby, all I could think about
was leaving her without a mommy. Not if I have the choice to stop it. Having surgery was a hard decision. But I got to choose to not battle colon cancer. EVER!
I just wanted to say that if your husband chooses to have a permanent ostomy, it's not that bad. I've said this many times b4 (well, I've only been saying it for a little over a month-but I talk a lot
) i can have a j-pouch, but I'm not sure I want to b/c I feel so good with my ostomy!
I know it's different with your husband situation b/c he doesn't feel bad. I realize that makes things harder, but he's lucky he has the option to stop things b4 they get too serious. Especially since his odds are so high.
I think for your role, it will be important to be supportive no matter what. If I didn't have my husbands 100% support, I'd be far FAR worse off. It sounds like you are already doing a great job of that. Your husband is lucky to have you.
Emotionally, I think it's hard for everyone to accept things at first. But once you've gone through the grieving process, and started to accept things, it gets better.
You might try visiting the j-pouch.org site to see if there are posts for what he's having done. There are lots of wonderful, fantastic, and helpful people on this site that can help you, but for even more info you might see. I did tons of research; I have a need to be informed. Just a suggestion.
We are here for anything you need. Don't be afraid to ask about
anything (even your mice problems LOL!)
Good luck and keep us posted.
28 yrs. old. married with one beautiful daughter (born 11/20/07)
-diagnosed with severe pancolitis u/c 2002 had total colectomy 12/19/08; emergency surgery due to abscess-had to redo ileostomy and switch to left side 12/25/08; 1/29/09 found blood clot in superior mesenteric vein (prob. from inf. and surgery inflammation)
pred. taper, coumadin, carafate, prenatal vit., and pain meds
(ileostomy temporary....not so sure?)
"Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."