You and I are in the exact same boat! My surgery is scheduled for Feb. 6th! : ) I am looking forward to this procedure b/c I am ready to be done with UC and go on with my life! I understand your feelings about
one day you want the surgery and the next you don't. I had a fairly calm UC day about
three days ago and wanted to cancel all my appointments...but alas...the evening came and I wanted to bump up my consult! Which, actually did happen b/c they had a cancelation.
Anyway, I started taking Paxil a few months ago and find that it helps a great deal. However, it sounds that you are struggling quite a bit and you may need something a little more potent, so perhaps you could try Effexor? These are just my two medications that I know work well for me. What's great about
Effexor is that you start on a lower dose and if you feel that it just isn't doing the trick, after okaying it with your doctor, you can up the dose and effects change. It's wonderful! It's also a great medication for those of us who suffer from basic anxiety throughout the year but then Seasonal Affective Disorder in the winter months. I've had so much going on lately that my SAD hasn't had a chance to be an issue, but I'm sure the when this is all said and done I'll probably have to alter my medications throughout the year and situations.
Also know that anti-anxiety/depression medications are great for situational purposes. For example, you are going through a very difficult time right now. You are being forced to accept a very permanet situation that gives you very little choice or control. A medication would do you good for your current situation and help you get through to a place where you are acceptant of your condition. Which, I feel that once I have my permanent ileo I will no longer have a condition! : ) I will be cured!!! AND SO WILL YOU!!!
I am opting for a permanent ileo b/c I want to get on with my life and never look back. I feel the j-pouch poses too many possibilites for future issues and I'm not okay with that. I'm also not okay with having to use the bathroom several times a day. I don't know about
you, but I can definitely live without the urgency and emergency of bathroom use. I love the idea that I get to choose when to empty the bag and never again having a bm. : ) I've been traumatized, as I'm sure you have too, regarding bathroom breaks and the pain that UC causes. I am ready to be done with it!
I feel horrible for you that you've been battling this for so long! My initial flare started in April 2007, a month after our wedding, and I never really have been in remission. We found out we were pregnant a month after my first symptoms began, so that was a very interesting year. This past year was much more difficult, and I am not reacting to any of the medical treatments so my only option is surgery. I was on the fence regarding the j-pouch or permanent ileo, and after speaking with my surgeon and I am 100% positive that the ileo is the way to go. I want future pregnancies and minimal doctor appointments and hospital stays. With the ileo I can basically pick up where I left off and go warp speed if I wanted...you know as well as I do that our current speed is slower than snail.
Please let me know if I can help support you in any other way. I understand exactly how you feel. I am just so relieved that the surgery is scheduled and I'm going to be better!!! Today I'm going for tests to confirm the UC diagnosis and rule out Crohn's completely. However, even for some reason I do have Crohn's we are still going through with the surgery b/c I want this colon out!!!
I hope you have a wonderful day!!! Another trick I like to do is make myself look nicer on days I feel the crappiest (no pun intended!), and today I know I am going to dress super nice b/c I feel horrible...I have a cold on top of my current UC issues. So, even if you're going to the store or sitting around the house, put on some make-up, do your hair...wear some nice jewelry...whatever makes you feel good!
: ) Robin
Dx-May 2007 Asacol-2400mg bid Prednisone-20mg Remicade-5 Tx
Paxil-40mg Prilosec-bid Multivitamin Moderate/Severe Pancolitis
28 year old Mommy of a 1 year old and a Wife for almost 2 years!
Life has never been so sweet! I appreciate the small things in life...the little joys that occur every second of every day. Though we struggle and have crazy complications, nothing can over ride our love and happiness.
Surgery is scheduled for February 6th!!! : ) Yea!!!!!!!!!!