question about sex

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 2/15/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
do any of you find it hard to have sex now after surgery due to either the pain, or the shame of your scar or bags. or your husband feeling weird about that whole things now.  and the ones who had the vagina fixed does it hurt now having sex or what has changed. do any of you find your sex life better then it was and if so why is it better. just curious about this..

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/15/2009 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
it was weird the first couple of times, my husband doesnt mind, hes just glad i feel good enough to do it, lol.

I just tape my bagup on itself and cover it with a belly band, and youc ant see it or feel it that way.

justjenjen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 2/15/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
My hubby is totally cool about it so that is not an issue. Since the surgery my sex life is a million times better than before. I did have my area fixed and there is scar tissue. It's tight in the area of the repair but not too bad. My gyno suggest having seeing a physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic floor area. However, I do not have enough nerve to even go to see what it would entail. Besides--it's just scar tissue--the one thing everyone says to do is massage the scar to break up the adhesions. I just would hate to go and then have some stranger either a) show me how to massage my hoo-ha or b) have a complete stranger massage my hoo-ha. Forget it. Plus, it gets better over time just by doing the deed. It wasn't comfy at first but I knew it would get better and it did.

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 2/15/2009 12:50 PM (GMT -7)   
My husband doesn't mind either, and we're having a lot more sex now that I'm healthy and feeling good. I usually wear a short nightie to bed, so I just keep it on during sex. Once you get into it, you don't notice what you're wearing! smilewinkgrin
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)


Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 2/15/2009 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
BETTER! who cares about scars and pouches...we don't:)

mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 2/16/2009 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
glad to hear about that.... just wonder how others deal with things like that. sometimes i feel bad about my scar and my health and stuff and let it bother me but we have always had a healthy sex life about 2 times a week on a bad week. but it does bother me more now that i dont look like i want to look but i guess my husband doesnt complain (to my face) so i guess i will just keep doing the dead without worring about it. thanks everyone for your honestly

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/16/2009 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
ok i should never be th one to point out a typo, but this cracks me up, you put
doing the DEAD, lol.

I dont think men complain very often about it, they aren't real picky.

2 RIS K
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 367
   Posted 2/16/2009 3:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I have noticed that I am somewhat embarrassed of my scars, I had so many surgeries in such a short time that my scars are hideous! My husband hasn't seemed to notice at all but it really bothers me, to the point that I would like to have some kind of abdominoplasty to fix it. I wonder how long I have to wait?? As for having sex, we've only just begun to do that again but it just killed me the first time. I'm guessing it's just because it had been so long since we had done it. The second time wasn't quite so bad and the rest remains to be seen...:)
Amanda
35 years old
Chronic Lifetime Constipation
Diagnosed IBS - 1995
Rectal Prolapse - February 2007
Rectosigmoid Colectomy w/low anterior Anastomosis - March 13, 2007
Diagnosed with Colonic Inertia - June 08
Total Colectomy - September 22, 2008
Temporary Ileostomy due to small bowell perforation Septepmber 29, 2008
Ileostomy Reversal - December 15, 2008
Multiple Small Bowel Abscesses-December 22, 2008
Leak at original Anastamosis -December 25, 2008
JP Drain removed - January 23, 2009
 
The whole world is at your feet; so paint your toenails Red!
 


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 2/16/2009 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
that is funny. maybe that is how it is doing the dead................LOL that is funny. i tend to do those type of typing errors. my friend and i crack up all the time when we do that. thanks for telling me it cracked me up also..........................
about your scar i know how it bothers me also. and my scar hurts by the belly button. and lately i am getting some really sharp pains in my belly and pulling burning feelings. anyone have that also.. i know i should post that on a different topic if i want respondes.. but i do feel bad about my scar. anyone else feel like their belly is like a butt now. my belly looks to me like it is another butt. it has the scar down the middle and then it is fatter on the outsides so it is like humped up on the side and then a crack that is down deeper where it looks like a crack in a butt. i hate it. but if i lost like 20 pounds it might go down. i wish i could loose weight so bad. but with winter and being lazy here in michigan i just dont seem to get enough exersize.. i just feel bad about so many things lately. my size, my scar, my lack of energy, m y lack of being able to go the gym, my not being able to work right now. anyone feel like this now after surgery. i want to be sexy again. but just cant seem to get that feeling and look back and i am wondering if i ever will

2 RIS K
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 367
   Posted 2/16/2009 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I know exactly how you feel!! I feel the same way! I am not fat because I lost a ton of weight from all this but instead I am all flabby and my skin just hangs on me and it is all yuck. I want to and need to work out but I don't have the energy. My tummy looks like a butt too! I told my husband the exact same thing the other day, that it reminded me of a butt. I tell you it doesn't matter if you are fat or thin it still looks like a butt!

As for feeling a lack of energy, not being able to work, not being able to go to the gym, not feeling sexy, that is me! Maybe you should email me!
Amanda
35 years old
Chronic Lifetime Constipation
Diagnosed IBS - 1995
Rectal Prolapse - February 2007
Rectosigmoid Colectomy w/low anterior Anastomosis - March 13, 2007
Diagnosed with Colonic Inertia - June 08
Total Colectomy - September 22, 2008
Temporary Ileostomy due to small bowell perforation Septepmber 29, 2008
Ileostomy Reversal - December 15, 2008
Multiple Small Bowel Abscesses-December 22, 2008
Leak at original Anastamosis -December 25, 2008
JP Drain removed - January 23, 2009
 
The whole world is at your feet; so paint your toenails Red!
 


badbaggirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 2/16/2009 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I've had several issues. Radiation can 'shrink' one's hoo-ha (as Jen calls it ;-). And when the rectum and anus is removed it can also make the previous mentioned body part go south and with no support of the those parts, it is extremely painful for me to have intimacy the 'conventional' way (ie: penetration ... will this get censored)? I have worked with a gyno that specializes in things like this and she sent me home with vaginal dilaters (which I jokingly call the vidigidiglators) but since no one gives a rip after the surgery I guess I don't either. Never had the opportunity to have someone with the patience to work with me and I guess I feel pretty uncomfortable with my body now anyway where as before I was extremely confident about it....
BadBagGirl
Crohn's Disease, Colostomy due to cancer and I make darned good dill pickles.


mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 2/16/2009 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
anyone who wants to email me about this.. like you 2irs k i dont know how to get your info on here.
so my email that i just use from time to time is anotheremailforfun@gmail.com and then i can give you my other email later.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/16/2009 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
mommy i can't remember how longits been since you had your surgery, but for the first couple of months i would have a pulling burign sensation, like you are talkign about, its your muscles going back together and such.

mommyphotographer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 2/16/2009 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
it has been since oct 5th 2008. so 4 months . is this still normal

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/16/2009 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
yes it can be months before quit getting pains, it was almost a year before i stopped having some pain. the reason it hurts the worst in your belly button is cause thats where they started the cut, it was explained to me, but honeslty i didnt pay that much attention, lol.
My aunt just had knee surgery back in april and she is having pulling burning pains in her knee where the cut was, and they have told her numerous times its because of the muscles growing back and streching bakc like they should.
And if you think , almost every single thing you do uses your stomach muscles, even breathing affets them so of course they are having more pain. i dont think i explained that well, i'm sorry.

Chasblah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 788
   Posted 2/16/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I've only been intimate with my husband twice since my surgeries, but it's hurt both times. It doesn't hurt in my coochie snoorcher, but in my rectum! i have a stump still. Afterwards, I have to empty stumpy, and then it's uncomfortable to even sit. It's not like I doing it in "unconventional" ways. NEVER gp in the out hole-even if it's dormant now! (if you know what I mean) It's only been missionary. Not enjoyable and it makes me scared to be intimate again.
I hope it gets better.
I don't care about my scars. They're nasty, but oh well.
I just fold up my bag and put tape on it, so it's small. That gets it out of the way. No I don't feel as "sexy", but I'm sure I'll get over that too. After having my baby in '07, my stomach was already messed up with stretch marks and flabby skin. I'll be very glad when I can do sit ups and crunches. But right now, I still have post surgery pain. When does the pain get better? Both for intimacy and just normal.
Chassity
28 yrs. old. married with one beautiful daughter (born 11/20/07)
-diagnosed with severe pancolitis u/c 2002 had total colectomy 12/19/08; emergency surgery due to abscess-had to redo ileostomy and switch to left side 12/25/08; 1/15/09 found blood clot in superior mesenteric vein (prob. from inf. and surgery inflammation)
pred. taper, coumadin, carafate, prenatal vit., and pain meds
(ileostomy temporary....not so sure?)

"Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 2/17/2009 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   
i love that name up there, cootchie snoorcher!!! thats hilarious!

anyway i dont know about the problem you are having with your rectum, unless something is causing your indside parts to push there, although i dont even know if that's possible.
I dont know when it will stop hurting, i hope it does soon though.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, November 24, 2017 4:18 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,897,373 posts in 318,009 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 157582 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, bonnieln.
220 Guest(s), 0 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details



About Us | Advertise | Donate
Newsletter | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer
Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
©1996-2017 HealingWell.com LLC  All Rights Reserved.