Again, I am so sorry for over reacting here. I am getting some conflicting information from 2 of my doctors - so much so I must go back for a nother colonoscopy. One says to remove my rectum (my GI), and my surgeon is of another opinion. So they have me going to a third GI specialist at Washington Hospital Center. Also my GI wants me to have an open procedure, and my surgeon is referring me to another surgeon (The GI specialist I spoke of to discuss laproscopic vs. open). Even though my surgeon has booked the surgical date and set me up with the hospital and the ostomy nurse for marking.
I do trust my GI, and he knows that it takes a lot of medicine for me to not feel pain - so I trust his opinion with his referral to the surgeon - but all this confusion - actually has me very confused...and emotional (sorry).
I also apologize to the group because I was a moderator in the UC forum for a couple of years...You would think I would be more logical and even tempered with the posts here and yes, what we now fear will in time be humorous.
Again, thank you for putting up with me. I am trying to vent here and not let my wife see such a mess.
Perhaps I should change my tag name to a Vulcan-wannabe. I always have enjoyed all the star trek series. Stupid, I was just watching one I had seen a hundred times in reruns - and I found myself crying at a sad scene.
I see my GI tomorrow - he is also my general doc. He has given me xanax - and perhaps this vulcan-wannabe needs a bit more of it. I can take 20mg of valium and it doesn't even affect me-it doesn't work for me, but the xanax helps a bit.
I think I will be more regimented about it - as my doc suggested.
In the meantime, I will thank you all and God for this wonderful group of people and Peter the founder for letting people like me melt into a little puddle of emotion and then get back up with all the great support given here.
love to all