I finally made an appointment with my primary care doctor; I just can't take it anymore. The surgery must have messed with my hormones or my anti depressant or something because I am absolutely miserable. I never want to leave the house. I'm never happy and if the sun comes out I'm really depressed. If it's cloudy and rainy and dark in the house I feel much better. I have started showering only every other day because I'm too depressed to do it every day. On the days that I do have to shower I get so miserable and depressed because I don't feel like it but I know I have to or I'll really stink and my hair will be really greasy. Then I do nothing but grab a big blanket, close all the blinds and curtains and sit on the couch and watch tv all day. I don't do any of my "motherly" duties and I cry at the drop of a hat.
I can't live like this anymore. I fooled myself into thinking I was better becaus some days are better than others but I continually find myself back in this condition. This morning I made an appointment with my PC doctor for March 3. I know I'm driving my husband crazy. He keeps telling me I need to eat more (I'm not eating enough) and that I need to go for a walk and I'll feel better. I tried it once and I didn't feel better. I hated it. I couldn't wait to get back in the house.
This isn't me. I'm not one to sit around the house, I'm always the one that has to be doing something. When the sun comes out I used to be ready to go for a walk or go outside and plant flowers. Where did that person go? I don't know if my hormones are off (I've had a hysterectomy and take an estrogen/testosterone combo) or if my Lexapro isn't working anymore.
Does anyone know if you can develop a tolerance to an anti-depressant like you do other meds? I've been on the same one, same dose for at least 6 years.
I really hope I get some help next week. I can't take it anymore....I'm so tired of being sad and no one understands. I want to feel like myself again.
35 years old
Chronic Lifetime Constipation
Diagnosed IBS - 1995
Rectal Prolapse - February 2007
Rectosigmoid Colectomy w/low anterior Anastomosis - March 13, 2007
Diagnosed with Colonic Inertia - June 08
Total Colectomy - September 22, 2008
Temporary Ileostomy due to small bowell perforation Septepmber 29, 2008
Ileostomy Reversal - December 15, 2008
Multiple Small Bowel Abscesses-December 22, 2008
Leak at original Anastamosis -December 25, 2008
JP Drain removed - January 23, 2009
The whole world is at your feet; so paint your toenails Red!