We had many people ask us how we could allow our 17-year old daughter to go through such a surgery! So permanent, so life changing! So drastic! My husband, daughter, and I discussed the surgery over and over again. After her 3rd huge flare, she wanted it. Even with her nerves, she never changed her mind. In her case, she was in remission when she had the surgery. Feeling healthy. So even more people thought it was wrong. In fact, after surgery, when we asked the surgeon what her colon looked like, he said it was bad but not horrible (the way most on this forum seem to have been). But still, we know it was the right decision. She's a happy, healthy girl living her senior year of high school and looking forward to the future. No meds, no issues, no disease.
Our family didn't give us too much grief. Mostly friends. Ours not hers. Of course, these are the same friends who told us that she should just change her diet, try this medicine, go to this doctor, etc. They also always seemed to know someone (generally a family member) who had UC and was "cured". No amount of explaining about this disease was going to help.
As long as you have a great support system, you will be fine. Focus on that and how much better you will be to be the mom you want to be.