I as told not to wear "dress pants" which I don't wear much now that I am retired (even though my wife blips me up new suits and pants/shirts monthly due to changing size). I was told to wear normal - even dressier jeans that are not tight - and that I wear should wear my normal belt. No expandable waists because they wount give the right "rise" which I have been wearing since my 8 surgeryies last year. I have a pair of tan jeans - that look nice, fit well on the waist not tight nor loose (normal) and a plain brown belt and a sport coat. Is this allright?
Also, when sleeping, my mother in law told me that her friend goes to sleep in her own room and I shouldn't consider sleuping with my wife anymore in that in wouldn't be fair to spill feces on her. Since I am scared of that I am tending to agree but my wife is in revolt. She has told her mother to shut up and stop scaring me and let us get through this. But I don't want to hurt her.
Along the sleeping lines, I sleep on my right side - my mother in law told me that I can only sleep on my back as the pressure on the bag will spill it into the bed - if not the contents, then definetly the odor.
Her friend told her to buy the cheapest white sheets and put hem over the hospital pad - but under the real sheets, get in - then put on glad seal around the appliance to prevent leaks and odor and secure with tape overnight, then put another clean white sheet over me, then my normal sheets to protect them. Then my blankets.
Her friend told he only to buy flannel sheets as leakage moves more slowly in flannel (in sunmmer in washington?).
Her mother wants to move in while I recover to make sure that I am taken care of, but to make sure that my laundry gets done separately from my wife's - towels, clothes everything - as infection is passed through leakage according to her friend. She has bought two different sets of all bath and bedding things.
I was starting to feel better, but now I am scared again about my relation and olor and leakage. She says it can't be avoided - and to put tincture of wintergreen on my body, but away from the stoma to make sure adhesion works. This will make me not smell. She also wants to put that in the bedding and in the room I will have to sleep in.
She says her girlfriend has lived this way with her husband now for 25 years and she knows what she is talking about.
I was doing better, and now I am a mess again...I am not willing to hurt my wife - when I said that to my mother in law - she said that it maybe time to "part ways". My wife nearly thrrew her out of the house which makes me feel better, but having her here and her prescriptions are scaring me. She said she will be with me when my visiting nurse comes - after my wife has to go back to work.
Am I in some strange soap opera here - I almost want to not have the surgery, and go off and live alone and recluse.
I am so sorry to burden you all - my wife is coming to the ostomy visit with her list of her mothers advice, and plans to shoot them down one by one. She is so good to me - but I am SO AFRAID NOW. Even the xanax isn't helping.
And her mother and my wife are fighting like cats and dogs over me - that has never happened.
I just don't know where to go or what to do.
love to all