Thank you all for the support you gave me regarding MIL

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schrek-chewbacca hunk
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Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2666
   Posted 4/10/2009 12:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I know she means well, it is just her way.  She has very strong opinions.  My wife wouldn't let her come to ostomy meeting.
Ostomy meeting went OK, but she was also very opinionated in a different way - when I mentioned posts here like the adhesive spray - she rolled her eyes and said less is more - and leaks are most often caused by odd placed stomas in relativity to the abdomen, and user error.  She doesn't believe in a lot of pastes, spays etc.
I will be going into a holister two piece clear system right a way after surgery.  She said after that my wife and I will learn to put the appliance on.
She did give me an edgepark catalog - tried to find the adhesive spray but could not locate it - everybody raved about it - I think it might give me more mental confidence if not physical adherence.  If anyone has a product number/maker I would appreciated it.
Surgery is less than a week away.  I have my round purple dot where I am going to have my stoma.  I must say my wife is way way more confident and stronger than I in this.  I really don't know what I would do without her.  It actually brings me to tears thinking  and just writing that.
I doc emailed me again, as he is doing every couple of days to check in on me - and said that I might have to have a wound pump for a couple of weeks if the bowel prep was insufficient or there was some other irsk of infection.  Do they send you home with the pump attached to your bottom?  How do you get up the stairs with this thing to go to bed?  (That is all my MIL has to see, or she will go batcrazy - thinking I should be sent to a nursing home immediately - by the way that was another opinion she said would be better for me - is to go there for a month or so - and then come home to my family all better - that opinion was severely cut short by my wife!).
So, has anyone else had this pump thing?
I think my doc told me this later in the game because I am sort of emotional and scared and he doesn't want to hit me all at once.
He also said he is making sure I am being put in a private room - which I don't know how he swung that with Medicare. but he is a prince.  He probably told them I am a nut!  (or he met my MIL) hehehehe
Is my anxiety going to get worse as I count down.  I am trying to divert my attention to other things.  And trying to fall asleep with Ambien, Xanax, and Lyrica is not working as I just lie there trying not to think.
Anyway, I want to thank you all for all your help once again.
Love to all, bob

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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 4/10/2009 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
the stoma nurse doesnt believe in all the pastes and stuff?
In general less is more, but i'm not sure why the nurse would be ugly to you about it, thats not cool at all!

i dont know abotu the wound vac thing, sorry.

just hang in there, it will get better!

Equestrian Mom
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 4/10/2009 4:59 PM (GMT -6)   

Bob!  You sound like you are in a better place tongue

Yes, most nurses believe (as do I) that LESS is MORE!!!  I haven't used adhesive spray since I don't have a problem with my wafer works with body heat, and frankly, the wafer sticks just fine for me without it...Because ileo's have a more liquid output, the area immediately around it is more of the target zone than the wafer farther away from it, and I think the spray targets the area farther away...does that make sense?

I did have a wound vac for several that the 'pump' your doc is talking about?  Be VERY THANKFUL you can have one...they cut your healing time in half, yes, I said HALF!!!  It really isn't a big deal, a nurse will change the dressings 3 times a week and you'll have a 'pump' that you'll have to carry during that has a hose that connects to the dressing...they've got it down to a science and it never got in my way. 

As far as the anxiety, take it day by day.  Remember, things get better smurf

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 4/11/2009 6:56 PM (GMT -6)   
God bless your wife for doing the right thing and keeping her mother at home, where she (and her opinions) belong. :-)
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 4/12/2009 11:54 PM (GMT -6)   
it was my stoma nurse who taught me about the adhesive spray, the first time in the hospital she used it. I spray it all over the entire wafer. I love it
thanks, Dusti

Diagnosed with colonic inertia at 13 years old, had my colon removed.
Diagnosed with rectal inertia at 16 years old, had my rectum removed and had a jpouch made.
Diagnosed with small bowel inertia at 18 years old, and got an ileostomy wich I still have. I am 27 now.
If you want to know more, just ask me!
"Don't worry about failure, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1998
   Posted 4/13/2009 1:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I did not have a wound vac - I'm not even sure they were around when I had my surgery! My BIL came home from ankle surgery with one and it really worked well for him.  He could see the healing taking place day by day. 
I came home with wafers, bags, stomahesive paste ... that's it. And I was successful in using just the paste til a few years ago and switched to the Eakin Seal, which is much, much better and easier to handle and apply. I do use an adhesive remover wipe (like one of the alcohol prep pads they use before the nurses give you an injection) just around the stoma as my first step in cleaning it when I change pouches. I don't know if most folks use adhesive remover wipes or not, but I find that there is no residue left behind when using them and they don't sting or anything. As long as you follow with washing the area well (soap, rinse, dry - and I use one soft paper towel folded in 1/4's for each step), you will have clean, dry skin to apply the new wafer to each time. I know others just use wash cloths, some use the 4x4 gauze pads but soft paper towels are inexpensive and convenient to keep a supply right at hand for me. I use Neutrogena soap to wash the area as it leaves no residue and rinses clean for me, and I have always had a little sensitive skin. Others just use regular bath soap like Dial or whatever.

I know this is a lot to take in prior to surgery, but sometimes being prepared and knowledgeable helps to relieve the stress and tention and anxiety going into all of this. You are just one step closer to feeling like a new person.

As Cecilia said, I am so glad that your MIL did not go with you to your ostomy marking session. I know she may mean well in her own way, whatever that is, but given her strong opinions and misinformation, I would suggest that you and your wife absorb all the information you can to be better prepared WITHOUT listening to her. Don't let her frighten you. It is a big change for you and you have a loving family who will help you - let them help you.

I just had to let you know that you will be fine and this forum is great to learn from and a good source to get suggestions and hints. Hang in there!

Diagnosed with CD in 1979, many resections and meds
Perm Ileostomy July 1984 at Cleveland Clinic
Disease free since surgery 

Post Edited (peggy113) : 4/13/2009 12:12:50 AM (GMT-6)

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