Bob, I'm so glad, for the most part, you are doing well! First of all, make sure your MIL goes home ASAP! That alone will be a great healing process for you. If your wife needs help around the house, ask a neighbor, a neighbor's teenager, a local church, or hire someone. If it's to help her help you, look into a visiting nurse if it's covered. It doesn't sound like your MIL is there to help you though.
As for your rectum healing, I have no information on that as Bratcat did not have that type of surgery. I do commisserate with your wife crying along with your pain. I felt the same way when Bratcat had to learn to peel off her ostomy appliance.
Just keep remembering that it has only been 2 weeks since your MAJOR surgery. You are doing great. And the doctor is in close contact with you. That's wonderful.
As for the pets, I'm a firm believer in having them around as soon as you, your wife, and your doctor feel it is OK. I know our cats were a big emotional support for Bratcat. And they seemed to know not to jump on her bed in the beginning or walk on her when she was laying down. They just snuggled near her.
As soon as your MIL leaves, hopefully soon, have your wife join you for some special time alone. Even if it's dinner with you in bed (and dinner is something simple). Knowing you and your wife they way you have described your relationship over the years, it's not the fluff and material items, it's just being able to be with the one you love the most.
Be well. Be happy. Gentle cyber hugs to you!
--Mom of bratcat (18 years old) and nonamejames (20 years old)--
Daughter bratcat was diagnosed with pancolitis October 2006
Flared Fall 2006, Fall 2007, Spring 2008
Asacol, Rowasa, hydrocortisone enemas, prednisone, 6-mp, Remicade
7/3/08-Step 1 j-pouch surgery and no more meds!
11/10/08-Step 2 reconnect! Living and loving life as a teenager should!
Son nonamejames was diagnosed with Crohns in Spring 2008
Asacol, Pentasa, 6-mp