My heart goes out to you. I had fistulas and abscesses, too, which were horrible. I didn't want an ostomy either, but agreed to a temporary one, so I could heal from abscess surgery.
After having Crohn's for 7 years, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed having an ileostomy. It gave me a freedom that I had not had in years. After 8 months of trying it out, I decided to make it permanent and have my colon and rectum removed.
It wasn't until that surgery that the fistulas and abscesses disappeared for good. I'm very happy being Crohn's free and find that having an ostomy does not stop me from doing anything I want to do. Good luck with your decision, and please keep us posted.
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free, medicine-free, and very thankful to be healthy again.