Woman Issues...What the...????

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RobinByrd
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
So, having endured the whole UC thing, a c-section a year and a half ago, and then the colectomy with the ileo, I'd say that I've (along with the majority of you) have had enough of the abdominal pains!  Right?! 
 
Well, lets talk about MENSTURAL CRAMPS!!!  HOLY HELL!!!!  Really?!  My poor system has been so skrewed up from all the medications and surgeries that I haven't really had period in over two years.  That is until I have the proctocolectomy and stop all those wonderful drugs.  Now, my body is going crazy!!!  I'm starting a week early this month, had my normal migraine for almost three days, and the cramping is freakin' ridiculous!!!  SO NOT COOL!!!! 
 
I'm just nagging about this b/c I feel that once the ileo bit happens we've paid our dues to Abdominal Pain Gods and should be able to go about our business without having to worry about pain in that area!  Grrrr!!!!!!
 
I found this ironic that I get on to post about my PMS only to read that poor Geri had extreme woman issues that led her to our world...which is so sad to hear.
 
Anyway, I'm not in a pissy mood, or upset in the slightest...just annoyed that I'm 28 (almost 29) and cramping up a storm b/c I am a WOMAN!!!!!!!
 
I do believe that if each man were to be given a day of PMS, labor or hormonal imbalance we would be living in a very different society.  : )
 
smurf  
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


justjenjen
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Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 5/21/2009 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Y'know, I never once felt my uterus cramp until I had my permanent ostomy done--not once! I've been through a c-section and all the crap with crohn's and I had no idea what women were talking about! Now, pretty regularly, I get the awful pms cramps--it's not quite every month and it doesn't compare to having crohns, so I hate to ***** too much. I wonder if the pain of our IBD so completely overshadowed any 'normal cramping' we just never noticed?? Oh--and are you regular with your cycles now?? I can't believe how I get my period every 28-30 days!! Before, I could go 1 1/2yr. in between...

PSA
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 5/21/2009 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I do believe that if each man were to be given a day of PMS, labor or hormonal imbalance we would be living in a very different society. : )

Oops. Sorry for trespassing at your zone.

That reminds me of a joke.

A husband used to envy his wife that she is not required to go to office and can relax at home. He prays to God to make him a woman and change the gender for at least a day. Fortunately, god answers his prayers. So here the husband becomes a woman - he gets up early, busy cooking, washing, sending kids to school, and all those finally he is tired, pissed off, still has to fulfill matrimonial obligations and goes off to bed. He is thinking the whole night, that he was better off as a man - being a woman is not so easy. Prays again - this time God appears and says - sorry you will have to wait for nine months as you conceived last night. So that is it the labor pains.
45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
 
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
 
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
 
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."
 


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 5/21/2009 11:22 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL i love that joke!!!

My girlie time has been messed up like crazy! it was never regular but i think all the meds and stuff just made it even worse. I was on the pill until i got pregnant, and it wasnt that bad, but i never went back on it. And after surgery, it started getting worse, to the point where i was having my period for like 10-14 days and it was coming every 2 weeks or so! It was awful. Plus i have had seizures in the past and having girlie time doesnt cause me to have seizures but it causes me to get confused beccause of that, its hard to explain, lol.

Anyway, i had worse cramps too, but i guess it is just that i never noticed them before cause i was always inpain!

So i went and got an IUD in hopes that it woudl get rid of my period, or at least straighten it out some!
I got it May 6th, and it HURT like freaking crazy! And i bled for like a week from having it put in, they use scissors as long from my elbow to my arm and some other scary lookigns tuff too! and then i started my girlie time and still have it! I was told it could take 3- 6months with irregular bleeding esp the first 2 months but then i shouldnt have one at all.

So you might want to look into that.

Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 5/21/2009 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
The one good thing about getting old. I'll have to remember this when my wrinkles bother me or my body is so saggy or can't stay and finish the movie cause it's past my bedtime. lol It is a pretty great and amazing miracle to carry that baby growing in your body and feel it move and know it is part of you, the guys don't get that part either.

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree there are plenty of amazing perks to being a woman...it's just these darn cramps.  Then the hormonal-emotional-sensative crap that just makes me feel too feminine super sucks.  I admit, I do like the frills and thrills of being a woman, but a sissy?  No.  Not so much.  My feelings are hurt b/c my supervisor at work is a shmuck, and I'm very angry right now b/c my husband keeps wanting to decorate our home like he's still in his fraternity house.  I'm just extremely annoyed and on the verge of tears!  Grrr!!!!
 
I'm back to being easily overwhelmed and I'm on the brink of extreme b--chiness.  : )
 
Can we start a forum about Maxed Out Mommies?  I'll be the opening act...28 year old Mommy of 1, full-time IIS Specialist, driving 45 minutes one way to at least one session each day (lately it's been to two separate towns each forever away), trying to maintain the household only to have my dryer die and the one I purchased from eBay (I'm retarded) was a gas dryer (which we never have heard of) so we had to have our freakin' gas line altered, I got two tickets today 1. for my tags being expired (I completely forgot to have that taken care of as they were up just after I got back on my feet from surgery) and 2. for not having proof of insurance (I'm sure that came during my time of recovery too...everything was so helter-skelter)...Oh, and to just add extra fun to the mix I'm starting back to grad school next month, going twice a week from 5-8:15pm an hour from home.  I have more...child care is an issue (I don't trust anyone)...scheduling my clients...stress from my husband...my unrealistic expecations of everyone around me...  : )   At least I'm honest.  : )
 
Okay, I totally used this as an opportunity to go off about my day.  I whoo-saah'ed my ass off my entire way home today, which is probably why I didn't bat an eye when I got pulled over.  I think I'll whoo-saah myself to sleep soon.  Today has totally sucked.
 
I hope who ever read this entire bit had an amazing day and hopefully feeling their day was tons better than mine.  : ) 
 
smurf
 
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
well i didnt have an amazing day i in fact had a rather uneventful and annoying day, but after reading your day mine suddenly sounds wonderful!
that is a sucky day, the joys of motherhood, ah how wonderful!
Dont get me wrong i love my little guy more than anything in the world, but man sometimes kids are annoying!
Its amazing how much we learn to deal with and take without just breakign down isnt it? And its amazing the stupid stuff that you do break down over.
I had a day where everything was just going wrong not too long ago and i was dealing with it, even smiling, UNTIL a cup of ice (just ice) fell off the counter and i just sat down in the floor and didnt move. My friend was over here and he picked the ice up and gave me a hug and i was fine. It was just so dumb because i had cleaned up puke three times from my kid, dealt with insurace companies and thinking my meds wouldnt be paid for which would have been 500 a month, my husband had just informed me he was going out of town AGAIN like 7th time so far this year, to which my child started crying becaue daddy would be gone again, which is why he threw up, the cat brought a dead mouse in the driveway, the other cat, for some reason pooped in the floor instead of the littler box, and the thing i break down over is some ice which would have just melted and dried up anyway!
Ok that was my mini rant, lol

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/22/2009 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   

It is absolutely nutty the pressure we as woman are forced to deal with, and when you add illness, ileo, pms, etc. into the mix, it's just a little ridiculous! 

When I was sick I always felt pissy and just down right snotty most of the time, so instead of wearing my Negative Nancy and Debbie Downer face constantly I would force myself to be Happy Hatti!  So, I'm bringing back the forced happiness, and making today a better day.  : )

We're going to the lake for the night and tomorrow I'm spending the day with my son in the water and giving him some first experiences with sand, lake waves, etc.  I can't wait!

So, Ms. Happy Hatti is here and I am going to wake up my husband so he can watch my son, while I get ready for the day, as I have to work, pack and plan the meals and snacks for the next day or so. 

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

smurf
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 5/22/2009 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
You certainly win "worse day" award. Mine was nice thank-you. You do lots of things and wear lots of hats, it's bound to make for lots of hard moments. Hope the next few days are great and give you a reprieve from all that stress. Personally you sound pretty amazing to me.

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/24/2009 7:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Someone once told me that those with UC have the tendency to become controlling in other aspects of their life b/c the disease itself is so out of control.  I could see that, as I was trying so hard to maintain order at work, home, school, life goals, etc. b/c internally I was literally dying. 
 
Well, I have no longer have UC but am starting to become a super controlling b-tch.  What's my deal?  My husband has an extreme streak of laziness and lack of follow through, and that just tells me he has little respect for our family and home.  He disagrees with that completely, but what else could it be?  He doesn't pick up after himself, he leaves trash just laying around and always 'forgets' that he has chores or something that needs finishing.  So, that normally leaves more work for me.  Also, just having to think of what his responsibilites are, and then having to remind of him those responsibilities is more for me to do.  Does that sound silly? 
 
I don't know...I guess that I'm just really stressed and overwhelmed.  I really do not feel the support of my husband, as I don't think he fully understands what my daily responsibilities consist of...and he really could care less.  I think that as a mother in general we set high expectations for ourselves, but now I feel those expectations are being set for others as well.  I don't know what to do...and I dont' know what to think or feel. 
 
Any suggestions?  My husband of course feels that he is entirely in the right and I need to make all the changes.  Is that typical or what?
 
I'm sorry to unload on you like this.  I really do not want to nag to people around me b/c I'm sure they all feel I can tone down my controlling ways too.  I know I need to calm down a bit, but it's just really hard. 
 
Okay...I'm going to rescue my son.  He pretended to want a nap, and is now telling me (in his cute little toddler talk) that he wants out!  : ) 
 
I do hope you all are having a wonderful holiday weekend! 
 
smurf  
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 5/24/2009 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
okay, i know this is sounds like an awful thing to say and its really really hard to do, but lower your expecations. If he isnt doing it by now, he never will. My husband is the same way. Now i dont get as upset about it because i dont work too, so it is my job to clean up after him and all, BUT i used to get really mad at him because he didnt do the stuff i thought he should, and then i just realized, in my entire life i have only dated one man who did all the stuff i htought he should and i am pretty sure he turned out gay, lol. which would explain why we didnt realy have much chemistry, lol.
So when our son was about 1 i just decided to give up on a good bit of stuff. If the kitchen is clean and there is no food and such around, and we dont have bugs i dont worry about the toys in the floor or the clothes that aren't hung up.
If i get to them, i get to them
You can keep nagging your husband about it, but all that will do is start a fight! And all men (sorry guys) at least all the ones i have ever known in my entier laugh have a lack of follow through and some laziness, i swear its like i have 2 three year olds in this house. And when tim and his boys are over here its like having 5! you can imagine the wreck that leaves, lol.
I think part of your thing right now, cause i did this too, is now that you finally feel better you are trying to make up for being a "bad" mommy and wife(which of ccourse you weren't but i remeber you saying you felt that way) and so you are trying to be super woman.
I sound like i am trying to boss you around, im sorry. Im really not, im just saying what i have figured out, i have been with my husband for (gasp) 10 LONG years, lol. And before that i had other long term relationships i lived wiht a guy for 2 years and had some other bfs that i kept for a while (for some stupid reason, lol)
But anyway, i didnt know until i got married and my Mom started telling me that my Dad is just hte same, lol.
Anyway, just try to relax about it and dont expect so much from yourself. Just enjoy your son and your husband (even if he is insuffereable and you would like to throw him out with the trash!)!

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/25/2009 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Leah...
 
I know life just gets a little tough, and right now is just one of those moments.  I see what I feel should be completed and wonder how in the world I can do it alone.  My husband has a very non-stressful job...mine can be extremely overwhelming, emotional and just down right brutal on your soul.  In addition to this, my responsibilities around the house just keep adding up.  I'm starting back to school after next week, and am just really worried about my poor time management skills, and how we're going to manage. 
 
My husband and I have 'talked' (bickered) a little lately and have found some resolution.  I've decided to put in an extra day of work on the weekends so I can fulfill my Mommy and Wife responsibilities throughout the week.  We're just not willing to utilize a daycare service until a friend of ours has openings in the fall.  Even then, it's going to be just 2 half days a week.  I don't know...it's just hard. 
 
Thank you so much for your guidance and support.  I know this is for ostomates, but being an ostomate Mommy can be difficult at times...I'm still working on finding a balance food and nutrition wise, and still get little stabbing pains in the surgery sites.  I'm easily exhausted and just trying to figure out ways to get my spunk back. 
 
I think I started doing too much too fast...I'm going to do the exercise bit again starting the first of the month.  I really can't wait...but am SO nervous about how my body will react.  I don't appreciate feeling that surgery pain.
 
Also, I'm STILL cramping...and in answer to a previous question, I've always had bad cramps and very uncomfortable PMS, but now that I'm trying to find a hormonal balance my cramping seems much more sharp and just down right ridiculous.  However, I never had a period after my c-section either...so I'm sure that may be throwing my body for a loop as well. 
 
Okay, I'm done venting and nagging now.  I've looked online for a busy Mommy support group and haven't really liked what I found so far. 
 
Good Night!!!!
 
smurf  
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 5/25/2009 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
i know you dont like leaving your son with anyone, so what you might think of doing is hiring someone to come to your house and play with him for a while while you get some stuff done.
Then you would still be right there.
If you live near a college you can usually find a student who will come either do chores or baby sit in exchange for a washer and dryer and a meal that isnt bought at the cafeteria! My sisters sister in law had a girl who did that for her she came an hour and half before the kids got off the bus, and used the quiet to study and then also used the washer and dryer while she was there and that was all she wanted.
Or even if you have a niece or nephew or neighbor kid who is like 11 or 12 they will watch a kid for you for like 5 dollars a day! i get my cousin to ccome sometimes while me or jason is here to play with michael and entertain him while we get stuff done.
Just an idea

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/25/2009 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I think I'll look into having someone come to the home like you suggested.  My sister's boyfriend's daughter is 11 and we've discussed her coming by periodically.  Now that the summer is here that will be manageable.  *sigh*  Schedules are horrible!!!  Scheduling is HORRIBLE!!!  Paperwork is just down right stupidly HORRIBLE!!!  : ) 
 
I have the documents pulled up and my written docs from the sessions next to me, and just don't want to do it. 
 
Okay, I am now going to focus...focus on the notes...focus on my clients...focus on getting caught up...focus, focus, focus.  Yep, that's what I'll be doing until I pass out or until the battery dies on my laptop...focus.  : )  I have a bad habit of sneaking into eBay and browsing the shoes...my husband likes to look at shoes I'm watching and get them for me.  : )  He's doing that now b/c I have a deal with him that I can't buy any on my own until Oct. 21st. 
 
I'll add the home daycare idea to my to-do list for tomorrow. 
Thanks again!!!
 
smurf  
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown


Gerih123
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/26/2009 4:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I turned 26 at the beginning of May. I'm not married and have no kids. And now having had the hysterectomy I will never have the opportunity. Reading on here I realised that living with an disease without a cure is the same across board. No matter what we suffer with, we all have to face days with horrible pain, people not understanding, having to live out our lifes to the best of our abilities with this disease tagging along. Our best friends are our surgeons and we are on first name basis with the nurses at their offices. But we are all survivors.

I applaud you all for picking up the pieces, taking your kids for days in the sun and water, for sitting up with grumpy husbands, for being mothers, wifes, girlfriends, daughters and women whilst having to deal with the pain and medication of your incurable friend inside. You are an inspiration.

Geri
Stage 4 Endometriosis (Incurable as well)
Hysterectomy with ovaries removed, on Hormone replacement therapy
Temp Ileostomy due to blockages after surgery
Reversal scheduled 3rd June 2009

I feel very priveleged to be part of this "community", even if just for the next 8 days.

RobinByrd
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/26/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Geri...you are an inspiration in and of yourself!  You have not one, but two serious conditions and seem to be still going strong.  Though you're not married or a mother, you can still fulfill all those dreams and ambitions.  Before meeting my husband I simply accepted the fact no one would suit my needs, so I planned on adoption by myself.  Though we now have one beautiful child there is not guarantee we will conceive another.  Adoption has always been in my plans and dreams.  We may adopt sooner or later...I don't know.  But I do know that I would love to have a sibling group and they will be children of 'the system' as those poor babies need a special kind of love and support. 
 
I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors and life goals.  You do not have to leave our little community, you are more than welcome to stay on board and chat it up as long as you want!  Your experiences and words of guidance will be invaluable no matter your currrent situation.  Perhaps some of us could continue to help you as well when and if it is needed.  : )
 
smurf  
: )  Robin
 
28 year old Mommy of an amazing 1 year old and Wife for 2 years!
Dx-May 2007 Moderate/Severe Pancolitis - failed all medications
 
Proctocolectomy w/ permanent ileostomy on 02/06/09!!!
 
"Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open."  -Unknown

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