Hi Judy and welcome,
So sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I had a subtotal last July and have about 2 in. of my colon left; it took my body 9 mo. to regulate to 2-3 bms a day and I have to continue to follow a low residue diet or I will have severe diarrhea. My GI had told me it can take your body up to a year to adjust to the changes.
Have you been on any antibiotics? There is an intestinal colitis that you can get called c difficile that causes severe diarrhea and abdominal pain. People without a colon have to be careful with this. I currently have this infection and was hospitalized due to the diarrhea, dehydration and pain, I lost 16 lbs in 2 weeks because of it. There is a post "need bulking foods" that I put up that many people gave great suggestions when I couldn't keep anything in my system for longer than 15 minutes. If you go to that post, perhaps you might find some things there that will help you also. You really need to try to eat more than once a day because you aren't getting enough nutrition especially if you aren't drinking fluids.
After my surgery I too had pain but mine was on the right side my dr said it was where he attached the colon to the small intestine and it would take a long time to heal; he had me put heat on it which I did and it helped a lot. You should talk to your dr about it though to be on the safe side.
I do hope that things get better for you. This was the best thing that ever happened to me even with the setback of the c diff. and I really want others to have the success that I have had.
We are all here for you and I will keep you in my prayers,
spleen/appendix/gall bladder removed/endometriosis/complete hysterectomy at 29/sinus surgery/numerous allergies & asthma/chronic kidney stones/ pancreatitis 3x's/2 knee surgeries-now need replacement/shoulder surgery w/ pins-which also froze following surgery/severe adhesions & scar tissue-stomach to chest-liver to ribs-colon to pelvis/severe IBS w/ constipation/subtotal colectomy 7/08-
Am now down from 17 meds a day to 8 and VERY healthy:)
There's always hope and things will get better :)