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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 8/14/2009 9:18 AM (GMT -6)   
So yesterday my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me because he has met someone else and wants to persue a relationship with her, it tore my heart out. I had my ileostomy in march then had proctocolectomy 2 weeks ago i went to docs today for more pain relief and i broke down big time this has just highlighted how low im feeling about going through all these changes in such a short time and i thought i was doing fine emotionally but im not. I dont feel worthy of anyone right now and cant stop crying and in serious pain ohhh and have bad infection so on antibiotics as well as endone and patches. Please can someone kick me to snap me out of this. I am going to see a counsellor as soon as i am recovered from this post op stuff but for the moment i feel like im dying inside.  What is wrong with me? Im a blubbering heap. Sorry just needed to write this down to get it off my chest cause i hate to burden anyone with it. someone shoot me and put me out of my misery

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 153
   Posted 8/14/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there, andorable. Remember, it could always be worse! You could be feeling like you did BEFORE you had the first surgery. At least now, you are no longer sick. The post-op pain, the infections, etc will all go away in time. Just be patient. And when it does go away, you'll feel as good as new!

And any man would be lucky to find you (or to be found by you of course). Never question your worthiness! You are just as deserving as anyone else to have a loving relationship. Remember the happy times from the past two years, know that it just wasn't meant to be, and then remind yourself that the future has so much potential! Just take things one day at a time. Put one foot in front of the other, and eventually you'll make it to happier grounds. :)

Keep your chin up! Good luck!
Diagnosed w/IBS: Oct. 2006  Diagnosed w/UC: Jan. 2007 (proctitis), July 2008 (pancolitis)
1st Surgery for J-Pouch: May 22, 2009 - need 2 more surgeries, dates TBD
Medications: Canasa Rowasa enemas; Lialda; Prednisone; Protonix; Remicade; Zyrtec-D; Toprolvarious pain meds post-surgery;
Supplements: Women's One-a-day multi-vitamin; Super B-complex
Current Status: Aug, 2009 - Recovering from the 1st stage of J-Pouch surgery; temp ileostomy; 2 more surgeries to go as there was too much damage to create a J-pouch

Equestrian Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 8/14/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   
sometimes it just isn't to be...and I'm glad I found that out 6.5 years into a relationship!! I just shutter to think what would have been if I MARRIED the guy...and years after that I DID meet the one that counted. **HANG IN THERE**

The post op pain will go away, take it easy and rest, and even watch a few romance movies so you can cry over someone else's relationship (you were gonna cry anyway, right?)!!!!

You can vent anytime!

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 269
   Posted 8/14/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I have my ileostomy in april and reversal in june. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend, different curcumstances but I'm going through a bit what you are. You will find better and just think after all of this when you finall feel better you will be looking better too! People won't always be asking you if you feel okay or see the pain in your eyes or just sense that you aren't doing too hot any given day. I don't know about you but people did this too me all the time and I'm so glad that it's over. You will feel better!

As for the pain, I know if hurts we all do. Try to focus yourself on something you enjoy. I caught myself up in movies. I would get comfortable and have everything I needed around me. Then I would pop in a good movie (try something upbeat and funny, but not too funny to make you laugh hard cuz that hurts too). Even a good conversation could distract my pain.

I had an infection too! I know this really really sucks! Don't worry about the breakdown. Once in awhile you need to have a little me time, but try not to dwell on it and know that there are wonderful things waiting for you around the corner once you are all healed!

Chin up!

25yrs old/ teacher/ Wisconsin

Diagnosed UC Pancolitis in Nov 2004
Diagnosed PSC in Oct 2006
Proctocolectomyand Jpouch formed with loop ileostomy April 2009
Reversal June 2009

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 8/14/2009 3:06 PM (GMT -6)   
That all does sound bad. But like Geminisunset said it could be worse. Steven Covey says if you're going to have falls, fall forward not back and learn from all the experiences. I"m guessing the dream guy is out there just waiting.... right time, right place right maturity, all that stuff and then it works out. I agree with OHIO76 "HANG IN THERE."
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