Anxiety/Depression

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XtremeMisery
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 687
   Posted 10/26/2009 11:34 PM (GMT -7)   
So I just had my reversal about 17 days ago and besides the small need for laxatives and no appetite/drinking due to depression and GI flu oon top of it all seems well. Do you evem seem so scared for the future that you just cannot quite let go. Its been 17 says and my connection failed at 3-6 months last time before my ileo. I feel I have every right to be scared still and others around me just want me to jump for joy for this iracle, but inside i still feel so scared. I was in the ER with the GI flu and dehydration the last two nights....i saw my pcp today and he put me on clonipine, cymbalta, and xanax to get me though this. He said its temporary. I spoke and cried with him for an hour. He knows me better than anyone and my friends want me to see a shrink. I want to try and see if the meds works and get throught his on my own. Have any of you ever experienced this after your what should be final surgery??? Is this normal with chronic disease to change. All my friends say they want "me " back and they are worried about me, but it takes time and just becuase i do not have a bag right now, does not mean i am ok 100% its been 17 days. Between the flu, withdrawing pain meds, and having what i would call a mere nervoud breakdown i think i just beed time. i feel awful, but my weight is stable. My doctor said just drink, the GI flu and depression give you no appetite and everyone thinks i just do not want to eat. I am trying so hard......its just so tiring.
Chronic Lifetime Constipation, Dx IBS-C for 7 yrs
Diagnosed Colonic Inertia-Oct 2007
Total Colectomy with ileorectal anastamosis- Jan 28, 2008
Ileus with suspected leak- Feb 1, 2008, ended with four abdomal abscessses and 2 drains
Diagnosed with small bowel Fistula- March 6 2008
Drains removed- End of March 2008
Continued Constipation- biofeedback for 3 mo Aug 2008, Dx Rectal Inertia (Anismus)
Admitted with Small Bowel Obstruction April 4, 2009 and emergency ileostomy 4/13
Re-admitted with abdominal abscess. Released 4/24
Cleveland Clinic twice for 3/4th referral. Anismus undetected (no medical explanation)
Retracted stoma-infection/skin breakdown.
Ileostomy Reversal- Oct 8, 2009. Ileus, Dehydration-Ongoing, but resolving 10-15
 
"The Greatest Healing Therapy is Friendship and Love"


suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5697
   Posted 10/27/2009 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
It sounds as if you might be dealing with PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. Have you talked with anyone about this? There are great medications out there that will turn this around quickly. PTSD is common with those who experience what you have experienced. I suffered with depression after my surgery, actually I was depressed before the surgery but thought the surgery would cure it. After all the surgery gave me my health and life back. But that didn't do it. I resorted to antidepressants and they worked like a charm.

Sue
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998

1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics

2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic

2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free


esoR
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 4147
   Posted 10/27/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Lizzie,

Just looking at your surgical history, I can definitely see why you are worried and are likely traumatized by all of your past complications. Celexa is a very mild antidepressant. I tried it once and it actually reduced my appetite (likely not a side effect you want), however it's mild. You could ask your doc. There are tons of them on the market. You have to wean up to a dosage and if you ever go off, then wean down. It may be worth a shot. I can totally relate to your whole scenario (I'm 2+ years out from what I pray is my last surgery, but I feel similar as you, so I think it's common in those of us that have been through more than most people will ever go through in a life time.) Best wishes. Hang in. Rosemary

privey
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 453
   Posted 10/27/2009 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Lizzie,
I had my surgery in June '09 (ileostomy) and I am still depressed and on an antidepressant and anxiety meds. My surgery was a total surprise. I was trying to close a back wound that I'd had since January '08 and had been on an antibiotic trying to keep the infection down. It seemed that every time I went off the antibiotic my lumbar wound would get a staff infection. I ended up with c-diff which then turned into UC and left me with an ileostomy that I don't think is reversible. I live in a rural area of KS and was air evacuated to
Topeka. The surgeon called my husband while he was on his way via car and told him that I had a 66% chance to make it if they did surgery right away and 0% chance if they didn't do surgery. Needless to say he told them to cut. I'm on Effexor 75mg 3 times a day and
Ativan (sp) prn or as needed. Don't ever worry about asking for help we all have circumstances and issues that sometimes call for medication. Good Luck and God Bless. Cathy

XtremeMisery
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 687
   Posted 10/27/2009 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I am going to a counselor in November and my doctor put me on cymbalta, clonipine, and xanax. Its just so hard when people want you to turn around so quickly. I have the flu o top of it which makes it so much harder. He started me at the max dose of cymbalta (its newer and a mix if wellbutrin like meds and celexa). I am hoping this will help me out. My friends were going to hold some sort of intervention, but i just wish they could go though all of this (not really) and tell me the fears would just go away. I am about 18 days or so post-op and everything has been traumatic with me and complicated. I have seen four specialist and they figured my reversal would never happen. This is what brings me fear, not pessimism, but fear for the future. It has consumed my life and that is what I want to work on.....living again without so much worry. I hope this helps. Thanks for all your support. Sometimes this is the only place i get it.
 
Lizzie
Chronic Lifetime Constipation, Dx IBS-C for 7 yrs
Diagnosed Colonic Inertia-Oct 2007
Total Colectomy with ileorectal anastamosis- Jan 28, 2008
Ileus with suspected leak- Feb 1, 2008, ended with four abdomal abscessses and 2 drains
Diagnosed with small bowel Fistula- March 6 2008
Drains removed- End of March 2008
Continued Constipation- biofeedback for 3 mo Aug 2008, Dx Rectal Inertia (Anismus)
Admitted with Small Bowel Obstruction April 4, 2009 and emergency ileostomy 4/13
Re-admitted with abdominal abscess. Released 4/24
Cleveland Clinic twice for 3/4th referral. Anismus undetected (no medical explanation)
Retracted stoma-infection/skin breakdown.
Ileostomy Reversal- Oct 8, 2009. Ileus, Dehydration-Ongoing, but resolving 10-15
 
"The Greatest Healing Therapy is Friendship and Love"


Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 10/27/2009 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
It appears you have been thru a LOT!! Hang in.

Since I just started an antidepressant (I didn't really want to take) I feel your worry and fears acutely. The meds take some time to start, but they can help the mind trauma.

After my surgery everyone wanted me to be my old self right away and it was horrible. I just tried to stay away from people like that as much as possible. I actually went to our cabin in the mountains with a nurse friend and hid for 3 weeks. You may not have anywhere you can go, but you can turn off the phone or stay with a friend? People want to help but don't know how. They are obviously worried for you because they care.

Keep trying to drink nutrients. Good time to have fattening ones if you can. Milk shakes, ect.

Get rest and God bless
This heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.
H.W. Longfellow
Thyroid cancer removed 1988
Stomach problems finally figured out 2001 Crohn's/Colitus
Tried every drug without much success
Colon/rectal cancer removed Aug 2009
Trying


Gilda
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 194
   Posted 10/28/2009 9:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Lizzie,

I so agree with you in regards to your friends just not understanding the hell you have been thru! I started with the chronic constipation, extreme pain, discomfort and much worse when I was 20 years old! I am now 57 and finally found a doctor who would do a colectomy to give me some relief. Believe me, I have thought of suicide so many times in my life because chronic pain and ill health can destroy a person in so many ways. I finally had the colectomy in April 2009 (small intestine hooked to rectum). I am still scared and it is 7 months post-surgery. The good news is; I don't have the pain anymore. The bad news is; I just about live in the bathroom and I still have very little energy. My family keeps reminding me though, that even though I sometimes don't feel I am making progress - I have some days when I feel great (and that didn't used to happen). I think that these illnesses just wear us down so much that we stop believing we can ever really recover. Hang in there; this time your surgery may have worked and altho it does take time to recover; you will probably feel so much better every month that goes by. Don't give up and do believe in miracles! They happen. Gilda

esoR
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 4147
   Posted 10/31/2009 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,

Well I just couldn't handle it any more and I took my first half Celexa. Had tried this before for depression but did not give it a chance because it killed my appetite. At this point the depression is worse than having little appetite. Soooooo, here's hoping. If all this rain does not stop, everyone in my area will be going crazy not just me. Then I'll have company. hahahaha! Rosemary

Alittlelighter34
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 11/2/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I have just had a complete procto-colectomy with ileostomy. There will be no reversal for me. Ever since I was diagnosed with Indeterminate Colitis back in 2000, my nerves have been a wreck. I have panic attacks, and general anxiety all of the time. It keeps me from sleeping as well. Remember that you are not alone. Your doctor did the right thing. Instead of Cymbalta, I take a small dose of Lexapro and Clonazepine as well as Xanax if needed. All of those things chill me out really fast. I think about the future a lot, and how I will deal with crazy situations that arise. I think what you are experiencing is fairly normal! A word of advice though, is to see a psychiatrist for the anti-anxiety meds rather than a physical doctor. They are more sympathetic and know more about dosages as related to symptoms. Good luck to you.

Frank R.
10 years of Indeterminate Colitis, and total procto-colectomy with ileostomy on 10/16/09! SO far so good!


vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 11/2/2009 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
These on-line forums are great (too bad they weren't around yet when I first had surgery back in '89), but they are a poor replacement for human contact.  To several that have posted already in this thread I would suggest finding out where your closest local United Ostomy Association has their next meeting.....AND GO!  Many of your concerns can be better addressed at these meetings, even if you just go to one.  And, when you see others that have been where you are now emotionally, I think you'll be amazed at how "normal" these people are.  In fact, since many go with a friend or family member, you won't be able to tell who's the one with the ostomy!  Again, do yourself a really big favor and go to the next ostomy meeting....I dare you, lol!

Amey
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 942
   Posted 11/4/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Lizzy - I am bumping this back to the top because there might be some more people who can help you in this area...

~~~thinking of you~~~
Amey
 
Reversal 9/2009 
Ileostomy 8/2007
Revised Coletomy/ Reset Anastimosis 2006
Revised Colectomy/ Obstructions 2005
Sub-total Colectomy 2001
 
Prov. 16: 20 Whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.
 
Zelnorm, Colace, Motilium, Citrate of Magnesium, Nexium, Amitiza, Potassium, Magnesium, Miralax, Milk of Magnesium, Corgard, Glycerin Suppositories, Sorbitol, Bentyl, Senokot


XtremeMisery
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 687
   Posted 11/5/2009 11:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Amey for moving this post back up.....I dont feel so alone in this as I am going through some of the hardest times with this third surgery. Thanks for all your posts and information and for making me not feel so alone. I start counseling soon and the meds should be kicking in sooner than later. I hope its temporary. I am normally a very upbeat person.....
 
Just a question....did any of you who have tried meds for this lose your appetite like I have???
 
Lizzie
Chronic Lifetime Constipation, Dx IBS-C for 7 yrs
Diagnosed Colonic Inertia-Oct 2007
Total Colectomy with ileorectal anastamosis- Jan 28, 2008
Ileus with suspected leak- Feb 1, 2008, ended with four abdomal abscessses and 2 drains
Diagnosed with small bowel Fistula- March 6 2008
Drains removed- End of March 2008
Continued Constipation- biofeedback for 3 mo Aug 2008, Dx Rectal Inertia (Anismus)
Admitted with Small Bowel Obstruction April 4, 2009 and emergency ileostomy 4/13
Re-admitted with abdominal abscess. Released 4/24
Cleveland Clinic twice for 3/4th referral. Anismus undetected (no medical explanation)
Retracted stoma-infection/skin breakdown.
Ileostomy Reversal- Oct 8, 2009. Ileus, Dehydration-Ongoing, but resolving 10-15
 
"The Greatest Healing Therapy is Friendship and Love"


Amey
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 942
   Posted 11/5/2009 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Lizzy -
 
I have been on Lexapro for anxiety for a year.  It did not affect my appitite.  However, loss of appitite is a side effect of these medications.  Please make yourself eat.  It is nearly 2pm and I am still not hungry.  I ran 3 miles this morning and would think that would make me want something to eat. I forced myself to drink a Boost Plus about 5 minutes ago.  I mixed protein powder with it so I could get the calories and protein my needs.  I have only had dinner 3 times since my surgery (5 weeks ago).  After drinking the Boost, I feel very full and bloated.  I doubt I will eat much the rest of the day.  I might have a small apple or a half a sandwich around 4pm and then I will be done for the day.  Remember, your insides take at least a year to heal.  Your intestines and stomach are bruised and not happy about having this huge surgery.  Give your body some time.  Try not to stress over the way your body is reacting..that just makes you feel bad about things you cannot control.  Eat what you can and allow your body some time to recover.
 
Take care.
Amey
Amey
 
Reversal 9/2009 
Ileostomy 8/2007
Revised Coletomy/ Reset Anastimosis 2006
Revised Colectomy/ Obstructions 2005
Sub-total Colectomy 2001
 
Prov. 16: 20 Whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.
 
Zelnorm, Colace, Motilium, Citrate of Magnesium, Nexium, Amitiza, Potassium, Magnesium, Miralax, Milk of Magnesium, Corgard, Glycerin Suppositories, Sorbitol, Bentyl, Senokot


andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 11/5/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lizzie,
I also am normally an upbeat person and I can promise you won't be like this forever. I like many others can relate to what you are going through, it almost seems like you get past one problem then Bam another one hits you. Most of us have to be on anti depressants, I am taking lexapro and have been for many years now and still have my down times as I also am still suffering bad pain. My appetite has'nt been great since my surgery but I do force myself to eat at times. This site is a great place to come and chat to others that understand what you are going through. I am seeing a psychologist now and find she is helping a lot, they say I have reactive depression. Hope you feel better real soon. Keep us posted on how your going and take care :-)
Doreen
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